I peer at him over my shoulder. “You do?”
Grant huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah, baby. That’s why we did what we did. We’ve always wanted you. I have loved you since the first time I heard your laugh through a video call with Derrick.”
Ivan turns my chair gently until I’m facing him. He cups my cheek in his large hand. “For me, it was a voice memo you sent. You were pissed, ranting and complaining about that game you play and how your raid partners fucked everything up. I had no idea what you were talking about, but I knew that kind of passion was something I needed in my life. I’ve always been told I’m a little too much. Too loud, too touchy-feely, too much to handle. Andwhen I heard you so pissed over a video game? I knew that you wouldn’t think I was too much.”
I place my hand over his. “Of course you’re not too much! You’re wonderful.”
“Yeah, Alpha. You know we love you.” Grant reaches around me and feeds his fingers through Ivan’s empty hand.
Ivan grins and kisses the back of his Beta’s hand. “I know. But that’s how I knew she was the perfect fit for our pack. She’s got Derrick’s passion, my exuberance, and your kindness. She can argue with him, play with me, and find comfort in you.”
All of this has my mind reeling. They want me to bond them.
They’re okay with this.
I haven’t slept with them, haven’t even kissed Ivan, and he’s saying he wants my bite. That he wants to be tied to me forever. I suppose that he could get tired of me one day and wants to spend a lot of money getting the bond dissolved, but I can’t see him doing that.
“You could reject my bond. We’d still get the prize.” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“Why would we do something like that? We want you, sweetie.”
This challenge is forcing me to think about something I would have put off for as long as possible.
“I need a minute.”
I’m on my feet, rushing into the room that looks like mine but isn’t, before they can speak. I shove the door closed and lock it, needing to think about all of this without them staring at me.
I wear tracks in the carpet, my mind whirling.
Do I want to bond them?
If there was none of the Sax baggage, how would I feel about them?
I think I’d trust them.
Even though I carry so much-
“Ariana, could you process this out loud?” Drew’s voice through the television startles me into silence. “It gives us more to work with.”
“Ugh, Drew. Can’t I keep some things private?”
He rolls his eyes. “You had phone sex in front of a camera last night. I think privacy is out the window.”
My face turns red, and I fall face-first on the bed. The reminder that people were watching me get myself off makes me a little sick.
“Don’t worry, it’ll be censored and cut off before it gets too saucy. Can’t show that much on network television.”
A small consolation.
“But, please. We need this footage. This challenge was given so you can confront your fears and reservations about pack Sax. It doesn’t work if we can’t hear what you’re thinking.”
Pack Sax. I kind of like that.
“Fine!” I roll over onto my back and wave at the camera in the corner of my room. “Hi, America. I don’t so much care about the prize on offer, even though it’s a massive one, but now that they’ve put the thought into my head, I can’t stop thinking about how the natural end to this, to meeting my scent matches, is bonding with them. I feel like I’m on a time limit. The guys would never, ever, force me to bond with either of them, and I know the show can’t make me, but now I’m having to ask myself if I ever want to bond at all. They deserve to know that before we leave and go our separate ways.”
It’s the big question.
Will I ever feel comfortable enough to give someone my bite?
