“No. You were sixteen. You were a child. He shouldn’t have put that on you. You have five parents, and he askedyou?” He grabs my cheeks with both hands. “You were going to feel guilty no matter the outcome.”
“He was hurting. I owed him that.”
“And you weren’t? You may not have been the one dying, but you were the one who had to continue living. And sometimes that’s harder.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ariana criesin my arms for over an hour. When I asked her to tell me something that no one else knew, I didn’t expect it to be something so deeply personal.
It feels shitty to be upset with a dead guy, but I am.
She has been torn up about this for ten years. She’s trapped herself in her home to avoid the same fate, and no one could tell me that part of that didn’t stem from the fact that her brother asked her to kill him.
The words can be dressed up, but that’s what he asked of her.
Every state should allow death with dignity, but they don’t. What he was asking her to do could have gotten her prosecuted for murder. If he wanted to go out on his own terms, he should have talked to his doctors to see if there was anything else they could do.
Instead, he went to his sister, a sixteen-year-old, newly presented Omega, who was watching someone she loved face the worst fate possible for Omegas, and asked her to make it worse.
Asked her to carry the burden of his death with her forthe rest of her life. How could he love her and do that to her?
It makes my being upset about Derrick having to leave the house look minuscule. It’s not like I’ll never see him again. It’ll only be a few days.
Sure, it feels like a few steps backward in our relationship with Ariana, but it’s not the end of the world.
When the tears dry and her shaking stops, she looks at me like I am her hero. Her face is red and splotchy, the deepened color making her pretty green eyes stand out like jewels.
She reaches out and cups my cheek in her hand.
“Thank you, Grant.”
“For what?”
“For listening. For being here for me.”
I take her hand in mine and kiss her palm. “I’ll always be here for you, Ariana, even when you don’t want me to be. You’re my Omega. I know we didn’t get off on the right foot, but fuck, I love you so much. I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
“Why were you okay with Derrick’s relationship with me when you first met?”
It’s something I’ve asked myself a hundred times, so I’m not surprised she wants to know.
“Honestly? I’m not sure. I wish I could wax poetic about how the first time I heard your voice, it spoke to my soul, but that wasn’t it. I hadn’t read any of your text messages or listened in on any phone calls when I told him he should continue his relationship with you. But when my Alpha talked about you with stars in his eyes? When he would pick up his phone twenty times at dinner, hoping for a message from you, even though he was the one who put the distance between you two?”
I wiggle a bit and sit up more, propping my back on the headboard before I pull her closer, halfway on my lap.
“He needed you. I have always known that I’m polyamorous. A lot of Betas are monogamous, but that never felt right for me. So when I met Derrick and discovered he was my scent match, I knew I wanted to share him with an Omega at some point. And the way he glowed when he talked about you? God, anything other than encouraging him to explore things with you felt wrong. I’d hoped that I would get the opportunity to know you, too, but the most important thing was seeing my Alpha smile like he did whenever he said your name.”
Ariana traces her fingers up and down my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “So what you’re saying is I need to give him a chance?”
“That’s what you took from that?” She chuckles as I ruffle her hair playfully. “That wasn’t my point, but I won’t say no to you giving him the opportunity to redeem himself. Derrick is a good man, and he loves you. You know all of us better than you think, but Derrick most of all.”
“How did you all… share me?” She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. “No, that sounds wrong. How did it work, all of you talking to me?”
I purse my lips, trying to put into words exactly how our relationships with her evolved. It was never a simple delineation of roles, or anything like that.
“Sometimes, when you were struggling with something and needed advice or encouragement, the three of us would sit together and figure out how to handle it. And when Derrick was swamped with work or visiting family, Ivan and I would step in to pick up the slack and make sure you never felt abandoned. But really, it flowed naturally. I’m the onewho talked you down from your fears and comforted you when you were sad. It was Ivan who reminded you how brilliant you are, who encouraged you to strive for more, and made you laugh when things looked bleak. And it was Derrick who embraced your fantasies and helped you feel like an Omega. He was also the logical one. Most of the advice you hated? Yeah, that was his. The arguments? Derrick.”
She makes a soft huffing noise, no doubt about to argue with me about how she doesn’t argue with Derrick, but I talk over her.
