“We’d like you to call in every night to talk to her. We think it’ll allow your relationship to reset. She can get to know you as Derrick instead of Sax, in the same way you two fell in love in the first place. It’ll be incredibly romantic, and we can use the conversations throughout the episodes as a voiceover. I think it’ll be very compelling.”
My head is pounding with every beat of my heart that feels trapped in that house, so it takes a moment for me to process what he’s telling me.
“I’ll still get to talk to them?”
“Not the guys. Just Ariana. Since it’s better for her health that you’re not there, we think the audience would react well to your relationship going digital. If you talk to your pack, they could make the assumption that you three are working together again to make her fall in love with you. We’d like to remove that thought as a possibility by keeping Ariana your only point of contact.”
It takes my brain a few moments to catch up. “So I need to stay here?”
“No. We’ll do your exit interview this afternoon, and then you’re free to return home.”
Home.
Now that I’ve been under the same roof as Ariana, will Virginia ever feel like home again?
“Okay, yeah. Sure. That sounds great.”
I can’t go home. I can’t sit in that empty house, knowing she won’t ever be there beside me. Her laughter will never bounce off those plain white walls.
But where am I going to go?
Waiting for them to leave the house doesn’t feel right, either. Staying on this complex, knowing that they’re all steps away and I can’t be with them, sounds like hell.
I need to do something with this time. Something productive. Figure out a plan to earn her forgiveness. A way to show her that she can fall in love with me, the real me, again.
“We’ll call you from this number and patch you into her every evening, okay? Probably around nine, but it may be later depending on what they’re doing in the house.” Bradley slides a white card across the table to me. “I know this feels like a major setback, but I think this will be a good thing for you.”
“A good thing. Sure.”
I don’t feel as optimistic as Bradley does. When I picture the three of them in that house together, I can’t help but think that they’re going to look like the perfect pack now that I’m gone. A beautiful Beta, a strong, kind Alpha, and a gorgeous, delicate Omega. A fairy tale of a pack.
I’m sure the viewers will be happy to see me leave. Cheering for it, celebrating that the liar is gone.
I’m going to have to stay off the internet while the show is airing. My self-esteem isn’t strong enough to handle the commentary people will have about me.
God, my parents are going to know what a piece of shit I am.
Bradley leaves after a few more encouraging words that I barely respond to. What am I supposed to say? I’m never going to feel good about leaving her behind.
It’s not long before an interviewer and a camera crew come in and set up. The man introduces himself to me as Drew. He’s a Beta, handsome, with a soft, unobtrusive scent.
“Alright, we’re going to get set up. This will be a pretty straightforward process. We’re going to edit out my questions and make it look like you’re monologuing, so try not to talk to me, but to the viewers. Directly into the camera.”
“Sure.”
“Tell us how you’re feeling right now, Derrick.”
Hollow. Empty. Devastated. I should ask for a thesaurus so I can say every word that means hopeless.
“I came here wanting Onion to know the truth, and I got that. She knows. I wanted the opportunity to introduce her to my pack and me, so she could see how perfect we all are for one another. I wish I had more time. It felt like she was just warming up to me, and now I’m back at square one. But I’m not going to whine about the situation. Ariana’s health is the most important thing, first and foremost, and if I have to leave for her protection, I will.”
Scrubbing my face with my hands does little to relieve the pressure behind my weary eyes. My mom is going to give me a long lecture about my posture, I’m sure, but I can’t straighten my shoulders. The weight of my decisions won’t allow it.
“This is a setback. But I know this isn’t the end for us. It can’t be. She’s a part of me. Before I knew the type of man I wanted to be, I knew that I wanted to be hers. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but… I won’t regret what I had todo to keep Ariana in my life. It’s impossible to explain just how much she means to me. I love her. I love her the way the moon loves the sun as she chases her through the sky. I love her like the world begins and ends with her smile. And I’m going to show her that. I don’t know how, yet, but I will. I trust my pack to take care of her while they’re in there. I know she will realize that she loves them as much as they do her. And when this is over, when we can all be together?”
I don’t bother wiping the hot tears from my cheeks. Let everyone see. I don’t care what they think of me.
“When we can all be together, I’m going to earn her bite. Whatever it takes.”
