“It was a good idea.” Grant rests his head on Ivan’sshoulder, his silvery hair falling into his face. My packmate looks down at our Beta with a fond smile that crinkles the corners of his rich brown eyes. “I’m glad you suggested it. Hopefully, it’ll allow us to start over.”
“Do you think she’ll finally read the letter?”
When Onion told me about the letter, I encouraged her to read it immediately. She wasn’t ready, so I dropped it, but every year, on the anniversary of her brother’s death, we reminded her she had it and suggested she open it up.
I knew she was afraid to. The last words her brother will ever ‘say’ to her carry a weight that may be hard to adjust to once it’s gone.
I hope she opened it up.
I hope she read it, and that whatever it said helped her in this moment. Maybe it eased some of her fears, or propped her up as she felt herself falling.
Ivan’s stomach roars, and he clutches in typical Ivan dramatic fashion, sniffling away his emotions in an attempt to be funny. “I’m wasting away over here. What kind of food do they have in the fridge?”
“There’s stuff for sandwiches.” I wave toward the kitchen. “Why don’t you make one for Onion, too? Even if she doesn’t come out, we can set it by the door for when she’s ready.”
He bounds over the back of the couch like a child, crashing into the kitchen. I’m sure America is going to wonder if he’s playing up for the camera, but he’s not. He’s clumsy, overexcited, and affectionate, like a puppy.
A big, handsome puppy.
I didn’t think about it before now, but what if she’s not attracted to us?
I don’t know why I’m worrying about that, because itdoesn’t matter if she’s attracted to us if she never wants to see us again.
Grant cards his fingers through my hair, and I hum happily at the contact. “I love you.”
His fingers stop moving, and he pecks me on the cheek. “I love you, too.”
“I don’t want you to feel… replaced. Or like how I feel about you is any less with Onion here.”
“Ariana. She wants us to call her Ariana.” He slips onto my lap, straddling me, and captures my cheeks with his hands. “Why would I ever think that? I love her just as much as you do. I know I’m not being replaced.”
I rest my forehead on his, luxuriating in his sweet orchid scent. “I read online that some Betas feel neglected when an Omega enters the picture, especially during heats. I don’t want you to feel that way. I want you to know that my feelings for you won’t change. You are my Beta, and I need you.”
He kisses me with a soft, delicate sweetness, the way he’s done a thousand times before. “Alpha. I know that. I’ve known from the moment I met you that I wasn’t the only person you loved. And I’ve always been okay with that. Areyouokay with sharing her affections? Is it going to upset you if Ariana wants to be romantic with Ivan or me?”
“Of course not. You both love her as much as I do.”
“See? Why would you assume that I’ll feel slighted?”
“I don’t know. I’m just…” I hold his hips, pulling him closer to me and resting my face on his slim chest. “I’m afraid that everything is going to fall apart. That there is no way I’m going to have everything, everyone. I’m owed some negative karma after lying to her for so long.”
“Ah, I see. You’re feeling guilty, and you’re assuming the rest of us see you the way you see yourself.”
As always, Grant immediately latches onto the core of the issue.
I don’t want to look in the mirror right now, because I know I won’t like what I see. Ariana has been locked in a room for hours, and it’s my fault.
Sure, Grant and Ivan helped me keep up the lie, but there were two years before they came into the picture, when it was only Onion and me.
I’m the one who decided to lie to her about my designation.
If I had told her I was an Alpha the moment I presented, would we be here? Would she have cut me out as soon as the words left my lips? Or would she have determined then that I was worth the risk?
I’ll never know, but it doesn’t stop me from ruminating on the what-ifs.
“Dinner is ready!” The clanking of dishes on a table and Ivan’s words have Grant hopping off my lap and running toward our packmate. “I made sandwiches for all of us. Couldn’t just feed myself and our girl.”
Our girl.
