Her voice fills with concern.“What’s going on?”
“A lot. Ivan and Grant are figuring stuff out with their jobs. Ivan is getting what he needs to set up an office here, and Grant’s visiting his company’s local branch to work out a transfer. But Derrick is gone too, and I don’t know where he is. I thought he was just going to the rental to grab the final load of stuff to move over, but it’s been a long time.”
Rather than having the movers bring everything here, we had them drop the moving pod in the rental’s driveway so we could decide what needed to come and what they’d put up for sale. It’s been slow going.
There’s a long pause on the line. I have to check to make sure the call is still connected. With a heavy sigh, Marlie says something I didn’t want to hear.“I know where he is.”
Betrayal twists my gut. My best friend and my Alpha? How could they?
“Don’t spiral. There is nothing going on between us.”
Oh, thank God.
“Then whatisgoing on, Marlie?”
“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you. It needs to come from him.”
“Bullshit. You’re my best friend.”
I can imagine her rubbing her temples as she ducks her head. If we were together, there’s no way she’d be makingeye contact with me.“I really can’t. But I can help you get the answers you need. I’ll give you the address. He should be there now. But promise you’ll keep an open mind and let him explain before you freak out.”
After assuring her I’ll give him a fair shot, even though I worry I can’t, she texts me the address, and I call an Omega-only rideshare to take me there.
As I stand on the curb, waiting for the blue SUV to pick me up, my breathing grows labored.
I haven’t left the house since we got back from the show, and now I’m getting in a car with a stranger.
Fuck, fuck. Can I do this? I can’t do this. I just got home. I don’t want to leave.
My old anxieties are twisted snakes writhing inside me, and I have to fight to keep my breath steady. I talked to my therapist a few days ago about everything that has happened between the guys and me, and he said that my agoraphobia was less a fear of leaving the house and more of a fear of being exposed to an Alpha.
The world was never the problem. What lives in it was.
Now that I’m bonded, he warned me that it’s possible that my anxiety will manifest as a fear of being without my pack.
I think he was right. We’ve been in a happy little bubble. It’s easy to think you’re cured when you avoid the cause.
The idea of getting into a car with a stranger without one of them makes me feel like I need to curl into a ball and hide.
By the time the car stops at the curb, I’ve not calmed down even a little bit. One wrong move and I’m going to bolt into the house and lock the door. The only thing keeping me in place is the desire to know what Derrick is hiding from me.
The driver rolls down the passenger-side window and leans across the center console. “Are you Ariana? You okay?”
I clutch at my throat and shift from foot to foot. “Yeah. No. Yes, I’m Ariana, no, I’m not okay.”
He’s got to be about forty, with a few stripes of grey at the temples of his dark hair. His eyes are full of sympathy, and he’s got a kind smile. “First time without your Alphas?”
“How’d you know?”
“I had a panic attack in the middle of the mall. Got out of the house fine, but when there were a bunch of people around me, and not one of them was my Alpha? Yeah, one of them had to come and pick me up off the floor.” He puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt. As he passes around the front of the vehicle, I know I should run away, but something about him is calming my fears.
“I’m Jerome. Is your Alpha home?”
I wave at the house behind me. “No, my pack is out. I’m trying to go meet my Alpha.”
“I know this is hard. There’s no pressure to get in the car. But you’re going to see your Alpha in a few minutes, so there’s something to look forward to. Would you feel better sitting up front with me or in the back?” His scent, a soothing limeade, combined with his tender, sweet voice, immediately relaxes me.
“Up front, I think.”
