“Of course. Let me make some coffee?—”
He took hold of my hand and tugged me to him. I sort of slid-fell into his lap. I’m not going to lie, it felt really nice there. I fit just right, and I had a bird’s-eye view of that rugged stubble that I had to restrain myself from running my fingers over. While I imagined kissing his neck. And did other things. “The coffee can wait a minute,” he said. “I have something I need to say.”
“Sure.” My heart was bounding in my chest. Somehow, I knew that this was going to be good. I could tell by the way he was looking at me. His eyes were like warm caramel drizzle. His beautiful lips were turned up in the slightest smile. And he put his arm on my back in a gentle, loving way that kicked up all the turmoil inside of me a few more notches.
“Ani, I didn’t come here out of guilt.” His voice was soft so as to not wake the baby, and a little gravelly from sleep. “I’m herebecause I can’t stop thinking about you. I miss being with you, talking with you, hearing what you have to say. I love spending time with you.”
A tear wound its way down my cheek. He wiped it away.
“I owe you an explanation. I never mentioned it. I thought it sounded…soft. Like an excuse. But now I realize I should have told you a long time ago that Liv and I tried for a long time to get pregnant. All she wanted was to be a mom. Every month when she found out it hadn’t happened, she’d break down and cry. And then she got sick, so not only were we not going to create a life between us, but we also learned that she was going to lose hers.” He paused, as if the sadness was still too raw to continue. “I would never want to be resentful, or sad, or take any of those emotions out on a baby. I’m still—figuring things out.”
He rubbed his hand up and down my arm in a gentle way. “I’m sorry I stayed away. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m finally seeing a therapist who’s helping me find my way. But you’re my light at the end of the tunnel. You and Rosebud. I want to be with you both.”
That was all I needed to hear. “Adam, I’m so glad you’re here. I want to be with you too.” I lowered my head and kissed him. At last.
His lips were warm and soft and wonderful, and as soon as we made contact, my breath caught from the sudden jolt of attraction between us. Warmth spread through me, and my heart started fluttering like a trapped bird in my chest before we even kissed. Our first kiss was light, tender, and brief. But then Adam gazed up at me and gave me a soft,at-lastlook that shone in his eyes, that I felt clear down to my toes. Then he reached up his hand, threaded it through my hair, and pulled me flush against him.
The next kiss was serious. Slow, lingering, lips parted. Less gentle, more feral. But tender too. He tasted wonderful andsmelled a little bit like formula but, hey, that was just life. I curled my hands around his shoulders as he slowly began dragging a row of kisses down my neck. Ah, heaven.
I shuddered and made a noise from deep in my throat that made him smile against my skin as he wrapped his arms tighter around me and worked his way back to my mouth. I loved how powerful he was yet how gentle and tender too.
I thought back to the past summer, to that night in Turks and Caicos. How desperate we’d been, yet somehow how in sync, connected. I felt that same vibe between us—it was easy to be playful and fun and spontaneous and just…myself. But then, it had always been like that with him.
The dog stirred but kept sleeping. The baby sighed. A bird twittered outside the window. And then I heard nothing. I got lost in the heat and fire of his gaze and the depth of his kisses that became deeper, hungrier, and possessive. In that moment, I’d never wanted anything more than I wanted him.
Somehow, I managed to get up from the chair. I took his hand and tugged on it until he got up too and led him down the hall to the bedroom, making a quick ask of the sugar plum fairies to keep dancing in Rosie’s head for just a little while longer.
“I guess Arnie’s babysitting,” Adam said with a chuckle as, halfway down the hall, he reached down and picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder, caveman style. I squealed a little, but quickly put my hands over my mouth.
“What’s his rate?” I asked as we entered the bedroom.
“Free room and board for life,” he said. I must have looked puzzled, because he added, “We can talk about that later.”
It didn’t really compute. He deposited me on the bed and helped me tug off my sweatshirt, which I tossed…somewhere. He peeled off his shirt with a fluid motion, joined me on the bed, and then began nuzzling my neck.
“Wait,” I said while I could still think, “did you sayfor life?”
“Mmm hmm,” is what I heard. Which did sound like an affirmative answer.
“But the McClellans are home,” I said.
He stopped kissing me and rose up on an elbow. “Yeah, um, it’s complicated. I had to make a game-day decision—basically between me or One of a Kind Pets.”
“No! They wouldn’t. You didn’t.” He turned a little red, and I couldn’t resist capitalizing on that. “You’re—you’re a softie. A big, giant softie. It doesn’t seem like you would be, but you are. Your heart is complete mush. Pudding. Applesauce.Purée.”
He rolled over on top of me to shut me up. “I’d love to talk about this more, but we probably have, like, ten minutes before the crying starts again. Besides, I don’t think now’s a good time to talk about soft things.”
I laughed, quietly, of course, as I slid my arms around his neck. I had no nagging doubts, no feelings that I was swallowing down because they were too messy to bring up. I just loved him, silently praying that this wasn’t all a dream, and that he could love me back just as much.
And then the world dissolved as he kissed me until nothing existed but the two of us together.
Chapter Sixteen
Ani
The next week, we took Rosie for her one-month pediatric appointment with Helen. Adam had the day off, so he came too. Right after we got her into her car seat, we smelled something nasty, which required a quick diaper and full-outfit change. I was afraid that we were going to be late. But Adam made getting her into and out of her car seat and lugging the diaper bag and the stroller look easy. By the time we finally got to the office, Rosie had passed out.
All the confusion and chaos of managing a newborn felt more manageable and not as big a deal with Adam nearby.
