As soon as I walked into the ER on a Wednesday morning a little over week later, my phone buzzed with a call from my mom, who literally never called me at work.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, answering immediately.
“Just making sure you’re still alive,” she said.
I frowned. “What’s this about?”
“I’m just wondering if you’re coming over here any time soon,” she said in a where-have-you-been tone.
Silence on my end.Over heremeant Ani’s house, where she was spending her days. My brain was filled with a flurry of thoughts, the first of which was, why was my mom suddenly concerned about my relationship with Ani?
“It’s complicated,” I looked around to make sure none of my staff was listening.
“Well, you might want to consider uncomplicating it sometime soon, is all I’m saying.”
I paused to think. “Is it too much? Caring for a baby all day? Do you need some help? I can help you find?—”
“You don’t need to help by proxy or whatever it is you’re doing,” she said, cutting me off. “Ani can hire someone to cut the grass. She doesn’t need expensive coffee delivered by the UPS guy. Or brand-new placemats from Amazon. Or a fourth basket for that abominable dining room corner.”
“Hey, don’t criticize my decorating.” I was mortally offended. “Exactly what does she need, Mother?”
“For you to get off the fence.”
Ouch. Ididget off the fence, I told myself. Ihadbeen honest with Ani about that. I’d decided on the safe course, one that would be better down the line for everyone. I checked my watch. I was meeting Dylan Baird to give him a tour of the ER, and I didn’t want to be late.
Ani had finally pulled the trigger and hired him to take over for her, which meant he’d be taking her ER shifts as well. I personally hoped that his stay was temporary. I didn’t care for the way he’d been so possessive of Ani, even though I knew I didn’t have the right to care.
“I have one more minute, Mom, and then I’ve got to go.”
“You’re doing everything for Ani except being here. Andthat’swhat she needs.” My mom’s voice cracked a little.
Which concerned me. She never hesitated to tell me what she thought. But she did not typically call me to passionately stoke me into action. In other words, she didn’tinterfere.I wondered what piece of the story I was missing.
“I’m not capable of being there for anyone right now, Mom.” There. She might as well know the truth. Life wasn’t a fairy tale. But why did that sound so weak and…cowardly?
“How do you know unless you try?”
She was poking the bear. But I stayed firm. “I love you, Mom, but I have to respectfully tell you to please stay out of this.”
“I love you too, Adam, but I have to respectfully tell you that Ani needs more than Amazon deliveries right now. And that’s all I’m saying. Have a nice day.” And then she hung up.
From inside my desk drawer, Liv seemed to frown at me. Which scared me a little. I’d never imagined her disapproving of me before.
Liv would have admired Ani’s gumption. Her courage. Her no-holds-barred way of embracing life.
You’re afraid of living, she seemed to say. An imaginary eye roll from her.You’re an ER doctor. Be the badass that you are.
I snapped the drawer shut. I didn’t know which was worse, the fact that I was imagining my dead wife giving me dating advice or that my mother actually was. Either way, I didn’t feel any better.
I walked out to the nursing station to find Dylan ensconced behind the nursing desk, casually leaning back in a chair with one ankle crossed on the other knee—I noticed he didn’t have dress socks on under his khakis—and chatting up the staff. “I’m a huge proponent of baby massage. Baby yoga. Baby meditation. Calms the nervous system, reduces stress, and improves sleep. Does wonders for the whole family.”
Baby meditation? Oh no. Was he one of those docs who threw traditional medicine out the window in favor of…other stuff? Crystals? Inner healing powers? Eye of newt and leg of frog?
“I mean, when there’s nothing medically wrong, I like to do things to help parents handle stress.” When he saw me coming, he rose and clapped me on the back. “Hey, Adam.” He frowned and started to poke his thumbs aggressively between my shoulder blades. “Wow, you’re tight back there.” Whatever he was doing was a little weird but also felt kind of…good. Maybe I was more stressed than I’d thought. “You’re holding ina lotof muscle tension. Have you ever had a massage?”
Maybe I really could use one right now because dealing with him was already starting to raise my blood pressure.
Cathy was blatantly crocheting. As I passed, she smiled and lifted up her work, not trying to hide it at all. It was a bright pink baby bootie. “Good morning, Dr. L. This is for Rosalie. I’m making a sweet fuchsia pink flower for it too.”
