He immediately frowned as he took in her face. “What’s wrong?” He dropped to a squat before her, his eyes intent and questioning.
She sighed. “I got my period.”
He blinked. “Oh.” Then, “Well, shit.”
“Yeah.” Afraid tears were going to start again, she blinked rapidly. “This is where I always come when I need to think about stuff.”
“Ah. I’m sorry, Krissa.”
She nodded, shifted over. “There’s probably room for you, too.”
“Do you want to be alone?”
“No, it’s okay.” He sat beside her, his big body pressed to her side as they shared the rock, gazing out to sea.
“It’s so huge. It’s like it goes on forever—boundless.”
“Mmm. Infinity.”
He slid his arm around her waist and she snuggled closer into him. The warmth and strength of his embrace comforted her like nothing else. “I feel responsible.”
She tipped her head to look up at him. “For what?”
“For not getting you pregnant.” He rubbed his face.
“Don’t.” She laid a hand on his chest. “We’ve been through this so many times. Sometimes there are no reasons for why it doesn’t happen.”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes I think if conception is so difficult, it truly is a miracle every time a life is created.”
“People take it for granted.”
“Oh, yeah! Do they ever.” She shrugged. “This time, I think it hurt even more because I was so sure…every other time, at least for the last year, I was getting to the point where I almost would have been more surprised if Iwaspregnant. The hope was definitely wearing out. But this time…” She couldn’t help the little sniffle. “I was positive it was going to work.”
“Maybe there’s something wrong with me, too.”
She huffed out a little laugh. “I guess since you’ve never tried to get someone pregnant before, you wouldn’t know, but it’s not likely.”
He shifted beside her and his body tensed. He said nothing.
“Really, Nate, don’t worry. We’ll just try again next month.”
He again remained silent, staring out at the ocean.
“What?”
“I don’t know how long I’ll stay here.” His voice was so low she almost couldn’t hear him.
“But…” She wanted to insist he stay, but then remembered he was only there to recuperate from his own illness. She couldn’t make him stay for her own selfish reasons. She fought to breath air into her constricted lungs.
“I can stay another few weeks. My eyes don’t seem to be getting better, but I can’t mooch off you guys forever. At some point I’ll have to make some decisions…what to do with my life.”
“Oh, Nate.” Her heart squeezed and she turned into him. His other arm came around her and the coffee mug thunked to the sand. She pressed her face against his chest, loving the feel of him, the smell of him. “Your eyes will still get better, I know it.”
But if they did, he would leave.
Chapter 23
