She nodded, her fingers playing with the hem of her shorts. “Okay.”
Chapter 17
Planning sex was weird, but necessary, although the lack of spontaneity did nothing to diminish Nate’s arousal. Christ, he’d been half hard for days.
All day, he and Krissa tiptoed around each other in the big house.
Every time they saw each other and their eyes met, heat flared and they both looked away. Krissa spent most of the day in her office, working at something on her computer, he didn’t know what, but around noon they’d met up in the kitchen, both hungry. She’d made sandwiches while he opened a bag of potato chips and fished pickles out of a jar. As they ate, the silence amplified and the heat intensified. He was excruciatingly aware of Krissa’s shiny dark hair, her soft skin, as usual much of it bared by the shorts and skimpy tank top she wore. His eyes lingered on her smooth thighs, her little bare toes with pink toenails. Would she wrap those legs around him? His dick twitched.
He eyed her hands, holding a glass of iced tea, small fingers with short, unpolished nails. Would she run those hands over his body? His gut quivered.
Would he get to kiss her?
He closed his mind to those kinds of thoughts. This wasn’t going to be like that. This would be sex like every other sexual encounter he’d had since Lauren had died. The only women he’d been with since then were women who lived in far-away places that he’d never see again. That was how he liked it. Hedidn’t want any emotional entanglement.
He and Krissa were attracted to each other. There was no denying the chemistry fizzing between them, pretty much since he’d arrived back in California.
They wanted his sperm and he could do that. Hell, sleeping with Krissa was no hardship, he’d admitted that, but it would be nothing more than a sperm donation. It was all he could handle emotionally. It was all he deserved.
He looked up and caught her staring at him, and her eyes quickly shifted away.
“Krissa.”
“Yes?”
He didn’t know what to say, just wanted to connect with her. “We’re friends, right?”
She nodded, wide eyed.
“I don’t want this to change that.”
Raw emotion softened her face. Her bottom lip quivered adorably. “It won’t.”
But they both knew it would. They both knew nothing was ever going to be the same. Sexual energy shimmered between them, a longing, an aching need, a searing fear.
“Fuck, we should just do it right now and get it over with,” he muttered.
“We have to wait for Derek.”
“I know.”
“And what do you mean by get it over with? Is it going to be that bad?”
He started to vehemently protest but then he saw the glint in her green eyes and closed his mouth. He looked at her. “That’s not what I meant at all. I meant I’m so goddamn hard just thinking about it, if I’m not inside you soon I’m going to come in my shorts.”
Her eyes widened and he heard the soft intake of breath. He’d spoken crudely and he recognized it as the feeble attempt it was to hide the fact that more than just lust was making himhard. What it was, exactly, he preferred not to analyze just then.
“I think I’d better get back to my office.” Krissa stood and picked up her plate and empty glass and took them over to the dishwasher.
“I’ll clean up. I’ve got nothing else to do. You go back to work.”
She disappeared without another word and he suspected her rush to get away from him was the same reason he wanted to get it over with—if she didn’t, they’d end up screwing on the kitchen floor.
He considered going to his room and jacking off, but from what little he knew, he needed to keep his sperm count high and that was not the way to do it.
He groaned out loud and put a hand to his aching cock. By tonight he’d be so out of his mind, this whole thing was going to last about two seconds.
“What’s with the candles?” Derek tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his pants.
