Because love was a tender torment, an irresistible anguish that made everything else worthwhile. There was nothing else that mattered.
His hands framed her face, and his gaze held hers. He saw a reflection of his own devotion, his own longing, his own hope in her eyes, drawing him in. “I love you, Krissa. I love you.”
Her hands stroked over his back and he felt the tenderness in her touch, heard her pleasure in her muffled whimpers, leaned in and felt her love in the brush of her breath against hismouth. “I love you, too, Nate.”
Her body tightened beneath him and around him as she climaxed, squeezing him inside and out. She cried out and he watched her face, humbled by her beauty, by the ecstasy he saw there because of him, awed and gratified by her love. Pressure built at the base of his spine and in his balls, building to his own exquisite peak of pleasure. Her hands gripped his hips as he drove into her one…more…time…and exploded. Lights flashed as his lids squeezed shut against the intensity of his orgasm, and when he poured himself into her in long, hard almost painful pulses, he felt truly joined to this woman.
They settled beneath the soft warmth of the duvet, curled into each other. The protrusion of her tummy still felt unfamiliar but he liked it. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head and smiled.
“You’re sure Peanut doesn’t know what we’re doing?”
She laughed. “Yes.”
He loved her arms around him, stroking his back, down over the curve of his ass, dragging her fingers up the crevice there. Jesus, he was going to be hard again in two minutes if she kept that up.
“Where did you go when you left?” She stroked up his back again.
“To my parents.”
“Good.” He heard the drowsy satisfaction in her voice and smiled.
“Yeah. Thanks to you.”
“Why me?”
“I owe you everything, Krissa.”
She tilted her head back to look at him.
“I was…dead. Inside. After Lauren died, and then I found out about her cheating, I just…shut down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want sympathy. I didn’t want to talk to people who knew us, who would be all ‘poor Lauren, such a wonderful girl’ when I knew the truth, and yet, I didn’t want to tell people about it, either. So I just avoided everyone who knew us. Ran away and took pictures.”
“And did damn good at it.”
“Yeah. But I was feeling…nothing. And then when my eyes were screwed, I was just pissed off at everything and everyone. Until you.”
He held her gaze.
“You made me feel stuff again, Krissa. You made me feel good. God, you made me feel more than good. You ripped holes in me.” She blinked at him, her smile quivering. “But when I started feeling good, all the bad stuff came, too. I didn’t want to feel it—I didn’t want to hurt. I didn’t want to feel the pain of being betrayed or losing someone I loved, but I started to feel that too, two years later. I didn’t want to fall in love again.” He shook his head, touched her cheek with gentle fingers. “And when I realized what I’d felt for Lauren was nothing compared to what I felt for you…Christ, it scared the hell out of me. Especially knowing you belonged to someone else.”
He closed his eyes, heard her small murmur. “When we first slept together, it was supposed to be a donation. Nothing more. No feelings involved.”
“I knew that. It hurt me.”
“I know. I tried to make it better for you after that, but I didn’t realize my own feelings were going to get all mixed up in it. Like you ripped something open and it all came spilling out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, it was good. I needed that. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I’d never dealt with all that stuff—the grief, the anger I felt toward Lauren. I’m afraid of what might’ve happened to me.”
He stroked her hair off her forehead, rested his hand there. “I won’t make the same mistakes with you. I won’t leave you, Krissa. Any longer than I have to. I know I was partially responsible for what happened with Lauren.”
“No.” She looked at him. “No, don’t do what I do. Don’t blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”
“I’m not takingallthe blame. Believe me, I know Lauren was responsible for her own decisions. But…I have to accept some responsibility for things I did wrong. I know I neglected her. My career was just taking off. I was so excited, it was all I could think about.” He shook his head. “I was an idiot. But…I didn’t feel the way I do now. Sad to say. The truth is…Icouldn’tleave you like I did Lauren.” He wouldn’t be taking off for months at a time to travel, like he did with Lauren. If he had to go for more than a couple of weeks, Krissa—and the baby—would come with him. He wouldn’t put his career over his family.
“You are so different from Derek.”
“I watched you keep your anger all bottled up inside you and I knew you couldn’t keep doing that either. Some day it was going to come exploding out of you.”
