He blows out an exhalation. “Shit. I’m sorry. I want you to always feel safe with me.”
I nod without looking at him.
He lifts my hand to his mouth and presses a kiss there. “I should have checked with you. Or minded my own business.”
That gives me a stabby feeling in my chest. I suck on my bottom lip. I want to agree that he should have minded his own business, but… that doesn’t feel right. Weareeach other’s business now.
Oh, hell. I can’t let this happen. After this trip, I have to get away from Marek, to protect myself. I’m a big mess and that’s the last thing he deserves.
22
MAREK
Well, I fucked up.
Not the first time in my life and probably not the last time either. But I hate that I hurt Nikki.
She felt safe with me. And I fucked it up. That’s what really bothers me.
I know it hasn’t been that long since the accident. I do feel like she’s slowly coming back to being herself but it’s going to take time. I’m here for her, I’ll help whatever ways I can, but I’m not a professional and… well, my fuck-up is evidence of that.
“So we’re not leaving?” I ask.
She’s sitting with her head bowed and doesn’t answer. Then she glances up at me with a weird look on her face.
“What?” I search her face for answers. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. I mean, other than… I don’t know. God, Marek.” She leans her head against my shoulder. “I’m so confused.”
“I know.” I let go of her hand and slide my arm around her. “Me, too.”
“What areyouconfused about?”
I huff a strangled laugh.
She looks up at me. Our eyes meet. “You,” I say. “I’m confused about you, Nikki.”
“I… I’m sorry?”
One corner of my mouth hooks up. “Don’t apologize. It’s not you. It’s me.”
Her forehead creases. “I’m sorry I got mad.”
“You have a right to get mad. You have a right to feel whatever you feel.”
“I overreacted. It’s not like you literally stabbed me in the back. It’s just a guitar.”
“Okay.” I’m not sure that’s true, but I’m going to leave that for now.
“Let’s just spend the next few days enjoying our time here.”
I can do that. That’s my whole life. Live in the moment, have fun.
But fuck me, she’s got me thrown all off balance. Since the day I laid eyes on her, to be honest. The whole last year has been jacked up. I have to keep reminding myself—we’re here for a good time, not a long time.
“Okay,” I finally say. “Let’s get ready to go wine tasting.”
The inn has a shuttle van that takes guests to wineries but we’re the only ones on it. The driver introduces himself as Harvey.
