“There’ll be other chances. I told him I have a family thing happening.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Family?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t want to tell him I have a famous pop star hiding out at my place.”
“Understandable. If not that, then what?”
“I have laundry to do.”
I huff out a laugh. “That sounds exciting. Don’t let me stop you.”
“I won’t. I’m going to put up my schedule so you know when I have games and practices and stuff.”
“Okay.”
“Tomorrow we have a game. I have a pretty set routine for game day—morning skate and team meeting at ten, lunch at the complex, afternoon nap. I leave for the game around 3:30.”
I nod, filing this information away. I envy him his strict schedule. He’s not drifting in a sea of grief and loss and guilt.
After a moment of silence, he asks, “Have you been having a lot of bad dreams?”
One corner of my mouth hooks up. “No. Probably because I haven’t been sleeping.”
His mouth tightens. “Maybe you should talk about it. Tell me about the dream.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He runs his tongue over his teeth beneath his lips. “Yeah. I get it.”
I appreciate that he doesn’t push it, but the look on his face is conflicted. I’m not sure what that’s about. He’s such an easy-going, fun-loving guy, he really doesn’t want to hear about something as depressing as what happened in Berlin. He probably just said that because he thinks he should.
“Don’t worry,” I say, using a paper napkin to wipe off my fingers. “I won’t subject you to the horrors of the disaster.”
His eyes flicker and narrow.
I slide off the stool. “I’ll go unpack a few things.”
I guess I’m staying. I can’t bring myself to go home by myself and face the media. And I hate that right now about myself.
13
NIKKI
“My sister’s going to come by a bit later.”
I squint at Marek. “Why?”
“To say hi. She hasn’t met you yet.”
I chew the inside of my lip. “Is she going to ask for autographs and selfies?”
“No. Well… you never know what Mabel’s going to do.”
Great. I don’t have it in me to be so rude as to tell him I don’t want to meet her. But I don’t want to meet her. I don’t want to meet anyone right now.
This is my second day at Marek’s place. Today being game day, he’s been in and out. I spent most of my day lying in bed watching TV. I watched the ladies onThe Viewargue with each other. I stayed in my pajamas all day, even though I had a shower this morning. Showers feel really good. I might have another one.
I think briefly about what my routine used to be like. Right now, I’d be at the piano composing, or singing, or listening to music. Music filled my life. Sadness makes my chest feel tight. Something else to grieve for, I guess.
