“Hi, buddy.” I smile at him and walk up to the bed. “How are you?”
“I’m doing great now!”
And suddenly my nerves are gone.
I grin. “I brought you some things.”
“Wow! I can’t believe this!”
His happiness makes me feel like a tiny little turd. Like… chicken shit. Christ.
I have a bunch of things for him from the team—a puck, a stick, a jersey, and a T-shirt. There’s also a ball cap, which he puts on right away. “I’m prolly gonna lose my hair,” he tells me. “I’ll need this.”
My heart lurches. I swallow. “Yeah. Perfect. I have this for you, too.” It’s a stuffed toy, the Storm’s mascot.
“Stormy!” He takes it and holds it up with delight.
“Do you know what kind of animal Stormy is?” I ask.
“He’s a buffalo.”
“That’s right. And do you know why the buffalo is our team mascot?”
He turns big eyes up to me. “No.”
“It’s because buffalo, er, actually bison, are the only animals that runintoa storm instead ofawayfrom it.”
“They’re brave!”
“Right. And we try to be brave like that when we play.”
I hand over a couple of sets of trading cards, and he opens them right away. Together we look through them and he tells me some of his other favorite players (besides me, holy Christ).
Time passes quickly—hell, I love talking about hockey, I could keep going, but Will is tiring, and the visit is brought to an end. I give Will a fist bump and a hug and tell him I can’t wait for him to come to our practice. He’s so excited about that and sensation pulls tight in my chest.
I did it.
“You’d be proud of me, Nik,” I say out loud as I drive home. It’s not the first time I’ve talked to her even though she’s not here. I don’t care if I’m having a mental breakdown. It makes me feel better.
27
NIKKI
As weeks pass, my mood lifts and my energy increases. I almost feel normal. Almost. Some of the time. I still have nightmares sometimes, but not as often. And when it happens, I reach for Marek in my sleep.
I miss him. Sometimes I think I catch his scent. I miss hearing his voice and his laugh and his ridiculous “see you later, alligator” goodbyes.
I miss the way he made me see things differently. Lifeisshort. He knows that better than anyone, and now I know it too.Have fun.Fuck hard. Play harder. Do things that make you happy.
Fuck hard.I miss that, too. When I first got here, I wasn’t thinking thirsty thoughts, but now… my libido seems to have returned. And I have a lot of hot memories in my “finger vault.”
* * *
“Who is truly responsible for what happened?” Eve asks.
“I want to say it’s me. Because it was my tour, my concert.”
“But you know you’re not responsible for the maintenance of that building. Or the weather.”
