Shecravesthis depravity. This devotion. And she deserves it.
She deserves someone so thoroughly obsessed with her that all sense and reason, all ethical thought, fail. I’m just the lucky fucker who gets to be that person.
The drive back to Mingle is too quiet, the walk through the bar too loud. My only sense of equilibrium is hiding from me, thinking the walls of her apartment are a barrier between us and not simply another obstacle for me to overcome.
“There he is!” Skyler slurs from the dance floor. “Cormac, my man!”
I chuckle, finding Sky dripping with women clamoring for his attention. But the only things he has eyes for is the drink in his hand and the ice pack taped to his shoulder.
He shakes off the gaggle, following two steps behind me into the office.
Leaning against the door to close it, he takes another sip, “How’s your girl? Did she have fun?”
A breath escapes through my nose, and once again I wonder how much of the truth Skyler knows. He keeps referring to her as my girl or girlfriend, but he must have been suspicious that she never showed any signs of being with me.
“She had fun,” I finally land on as a response. “She’s home now.”
“She’s homealoneafter that? What’s the matter with you? You two should be riding the high of violence into the fucking sheets right now.” He throws back the last of his drink. “I mean, if you’re not up to the challenge, I co?—”
“Don’t fucking finish that sentence,” the dark threat spills into the room, stopping him in the middle of his perilous stupidity.
He grins, and it suddenly occurs to me that he’s looking for another fight. Maybe the one he had tonight didn’t scratch the itch he needed it to.
“I mean,” he laughs, stumbling away from the door, “Youdidkind of use me to get her off. I could probably do it again.”
Every disgusting, violent instinct buried beneath my skin wants to rip him to pieces, but if he actually wanted to fuck somebody, there’s no less than a dozen willing participants waiting just outside this door. He could have anyone he wants out there. Man, woman, neither, somewhere in between, several at once, probably. But he doesn’t. He just wants to get under my skin and get punched in the face for it.
“You’re drunk, Skyler,” I sink into the chair and rub the headache he’s giving me from my temples. “You need to sleep it off before you do something stupid.”
He chuckles, falling onto the couch with an arm draped over his eyes, “I’m just kidding, Bat Boy, calm down. I’ve got no interest in your girl. I’m just happy youfinallyfucking made a move.”
“So you did know,” I mutter to myself more than him.
He peeks over his forearm at me, “Course I fucking knew. I helped you set up the techy shit you needed to watch her.”
“Why?”
“You’re my best friend,” he mumbles. “Stalking is the least of the crimes we’ve committed together.”
I’m not sure if I should be thanking him or not. This world we’ve built here is full of violence and depravity, more gruesome murders than I can count, but knowing he helped me follow someone innocent in all of it just because we’re friends leaves me full of both guilt and comfort that there’s at least one person in this world I can count on that much.
“And you’ve done worse things for me,” his words jumble together, the grogginess of the liquor getting to him.
Maybe he’ll be drunk enough to finally share the things he doesn’t usually talk about. “Like what?”
“Killed my sister’s dad,” he confesses. “Saved both of us, almost got your fuckin sloat thrit. Fuck. Sloat thrit—throat slit.”
He had said weeks ago that I protected them, but he didn’t explain how or what happened, trying to leave the past behind, I guess.
I can only imagine what it’s been like for him, having to ease me back into this life without completely reliving all the shit that got us here. If killing his stepdad gave me the hidden scar across my throat, that had to be the catalyst he didn’t want to talk about.
“Stella’s dad?”
His only response is a hmm.
“Does she know?”
I wait for a response, hoping to squeeze at least one last bit of truth from him before he passes out. If I try to ask again tomorrow, he’ll just brush me off and move on to the next distraction. The updated logo, the newest honey acquisition, or his plans for expansion up north.
