I hug myself, trying to calm the shakes taking over my body.
“I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I just can’t stay away when I know you’re so close, and I know you’re hurting.” He sighs. “I guess I only made it worse.”
“Why didn’t you come for me when you got out of prison?” I repeat the question I asked him months ago.
“I assumed you had moved on. Or, I guess I hoped that youdid. Besides, I had nothing to offer you. I kept telling myself that once I was stable and could do something to make you proud, I’d come for you. I’d finally apologize for everything I did, and I would see that you were happy.”
“That’s all?”
He closes the distance between us and hesitantly cups my cheeks in his hands. “That’s all that matters. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
“Do I seem happy now?”
“No, you seem fucking miserable.”
I scoff, letting my face lean heavily into his palm. “I’ve been through worse,” I whisper, looking at him sadly.
“Will you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, and his face pinches in pain, but he nods.
“I’ll give you some space. As long as you’re staying with Thea, and Jesse is around to keep an eye on you, I’ll back off. But I’ll be back to work with you as soon as life returns to normal. Nothing has changed, Liv. I’m going to keep you safe.” He lets his hands fall, backing away from me slowly until there is a void between us once again.
Nothing has changed.
Everything has fucking changed. My entire life imploded today, and Jensen is here.
All of the bad days I’ve had since he went to prison, and I wished he were there to help me through them, and he never was.
But he’s here now.
“Jensen,” I utter brokenly to his back just before he disappears into the darkness. His feet freeze midstep, and he turns to look at me. His brows are furrowed in concern as his sadeyes find mine.
“Can I have a hug?” My voice cracks on the last word, and a huff of breath escapes him as he closes the gap between us in two steps.
There’s no hesitation as he wraps his arms around me. I can’t even lift my arms to hug him back as I bury my face in his chest and sobs heave out of me.
His hand threads through my hair, cradling my head to his heart, holding me tight and letting me fall apart in his arms. I don’t know if I’m crying because of my wedding or because of everything else…
But I don’t stop crying until the skin around my eyes is raw and swollen.
Even after the tears stop, I stay in his embrace, soaking in the feeling after being without it for so long. The hug he gave me the night I ran out of gas wasn’t long enough, and I’m starting to realize that none ever will be.
I don’t want him to let go. My hands clasp behind his back, melting into him further.
“I am so proud of you, Hayes,” I whisper into his chest, cherishing that I get to be this close to him, even in the shadows of darkness. “I hope you can find it in you to be proud of yourself, too.”
“Maybe one day,” he murmurs above my head.
“Were you really going to try to stop my wedding?”
He tenses, and I hear him swallow thickly. “I don’t know what I would have done. I kept telling myself that I needed to look at you one more time. If I walked in and saw your face, I’d know.”
“You’d know what?”
“If you needed to be rescued or not.”
A laugh escapes me, and I smother it against his chest. He knew I needed to be rescued even when I was too stubborn to admit it.
