The guard had let it slip that Lochlan was in for a sex crime, and I let all of my rage at my own situation loose on him.
But he fought back, and we both ended up bloody and bruised.
He’s the first person who has ever been able to put up a fight against me, and it made me angrier.
“I know you’re pissed off, kid. I would be, too, but I didn’t rape anyone. I didn’t do it.”
He spit those words at me while his forearm was pinned to my trachea, but I still didn’t believe him.
He backed off anyway, seeing the malice in me.
“Fine. Go ahead. Kill me. I’m tired of fighting.”
The defeat in his voice had nothing to do with our current confrontation, and for some reason, I took pause, watching blood drip down his chin. He didn’t bother wiping it away.
He already had scars, and I definitely added a few more, but it was his eyes that were the most marred.
He was dead inside, just like me.
He told me his story, and I believed him. He was disgusted to be labeled as a predator.
I told him my story while we were getting stitched up in the infirmary. I told him about Liv and how much I loved her.
I told him about the night of the school bonfire.
And that the only thing I regretted is that I didn’t kill the fucker.
Lochlan didn’t condemn me for admitting it.
“We make choices in life that we have to live by forever. There are no do-overs. It’s better to do what you think is right than to sit by and let innocent people suffer.”
It was a relief to hear someone think like me, and I wish I told him that, but it’s too late now.
I have to make sure Liv moves on without looking back, and the only way I can do that is to not be here at all.
We’re too connected on this plane. She’ll always seek me out just like I would if I were on the outside. I will never be able to live without her, but all my existence will ever do is drag her down.
I stare at the empty glass vial in my hand that I swiped from the infirmary cart before I smash it against the side of the bed frame.
It shatters across the floor, but all I need is one piece bigger than the rest.
“I’m so sorry, Liv.” Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I whisper my final goodbye to the gray walls. “Thank you for being my best friend when I had no hope left in my life.”
The sharpest corner of the glass shard pricks the skin at the base of my wrist. “I love you, forever, dove.”
The shard digs deeper into my wrist until blood wells up around my fingers, and before I give myself another second to think about it, to think about her, I rip the glass up my forearm, flaying my skin several inches.
The blood pours out, covering my arm, splattering down my legs, and I sink to the floor as I watch it pool around me.
“Do great things, baby girl,” the words escape me as my consciousness fades.
“Open 247.” The door buzzes as it opens, and my head lolls to the side.
“Kid! NO!” Lochlan’s voice thunders.
His body collides with mine on the floor, and he reaches for my arm, wrapping his hands around my wound as if he can put it back together.
It’s too late. The blood is blanketing the cell and both of our bodies.
