Jensen is deadly. He always has been, but now he’s calculated. It should scare me, but the emotions I’m feeling don’t feel like fear.
It’s the warmth that blooms whenever I’m near him. The comfort that a man as violent as he is would do that to protect me without even breaking a sweat.
Because he cares.
He’s always cared.
* * *
11.5 years ago…
I know I should be disappointed that I didn’t go to my senior prom, but I keep reminding myself that high school is only a small part of all that I’ll accomplish in life. In ten years, it won’t matter that I didn’t have a date to prom.
I probably won’t even remember this night.
Even though I didn’t attend the dance, I decided to come to the school for the bonfire they hold afterward. The upperclassmen are invited, and the teachers are handing out hot chocolate and pizza or coordinating corn hole tournaments.
I’m standing off to the side, resting my arms on this wooden split-rail fence, and watching the flames dance. Keeping to myself as usual.
“They’re taking turns blasting each other in the faces with whipped cream pies over there if you want to join.” I turn to the voice as it comes towards me.
“Hi, Mr. Arkett. I mean, Landon.” He smiles when I use his first name, and it warms my cheeks.
“No interest in a cream pie?” He winks.
“Uh, no.” I laugh, awkwardly. “I’m not really cool enough to join in with their games.”
“You’re cooler than all of them, Livvy. Don’t let it bother you.” He leans against the fence next to me, and our arms nearly touch. I’m surprised, but we’re hidden away in the shadows outside the glow of the bonfire, and most people are focused elsewhere.
“It doesn’t bother me,” I utter. “I’m used to it.”
“Well, you’re my favorite, if that counts for anything.” He nudges my arm with his elbow and lets it linger there.
“Thank you.” The blush creeps down my neck, but the heat feels overbearing, and a little wrong. We haven’t done anything wrong, but the good pupil in me knows that we’re breaking unspoken rules.
It’s just nice to feel like someone likes me. Jensen’s rejection has worn me down. He’ll never love me like I love him, and I can’t stand his pity.
“Are you coming to the study group tomorrow morning?”
“Yeah, I planned to.”
“It’s at my house, if you didn’t know.”
“Oh, no, I didn’t. Did they double-book the library?”
“Yep. I offered to have it at my house since only a few kids show anyway. Besides, you’re the only one that matters.”
“That’s not true.” I tip my head down to hide my smile.
“I really like you, Livvy. You’re a good kid.” His words confuse me. Calling me a kid makes me think that I’m misreading our interaction, but then I feel his hand skirt down my spine.
I freeze as his palm rubs circles on my lower back. My body is tingling, and I don’t know if I want him to keep going or if I want to run away.
When his fingers tickle my bare skin under my shirt, my brain screams for him to stop. But the words don’t come out of my mouth.Stop. Stop. Stop.
I’m smarter than this. I should be able to save myself, but my body doesn’t move.
His finger tips skim the band of my bra, and my teeth clench.
