“Have you ever thought of another person while having sex?” Natalie lays her card down and shrugs. “Definitely in the past, but not with Jackson. Boo, that was an easy one.”
I don’t know why my eyes find Thea’s right away, but the sadness I see on her face isn’t anything but a direct reflectionof my inner thoughts.
I’ve definitely thought of someone else while having sex. One person specifically.
“I’m sorry, guys, the tequila is getting to my head. I need some air.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Thea asks, standing up when I do.
“I’ll be right on the porch, I’ll be fine.” I walk to the door, and her concern follows me. “I’ll keep it cracked.”
My skin is warm from the alcohol, and the breeze feels cool as it sweeps over me. Giggles filter out here to the porch from inside, and it makes me smile.
Being around this group of women is healing, but it’s a reminder of what I’ll be missing once I leave.
Once I got to college, I never had problems making friends, but once I went to law school, socializing wasn’t my main focus. By the time I landed my first job, I was back to calling Thea my one and only.
Even through the distance, we never faltered. So why doesn’t it feel the same with Elliot?
We’re living two different lives, and neither of us seems to mind that much. It’s odd for us to talk on the phone more than once a day, but even during that one call, it never seems like we have much to say.
“Is this what my life is?” I utter towards my feet, letting the gravity of my situation crush me.I’m supposed to be happy.
I’m supposed to be counting down the minutes until I can say ‘I do’.
I shouldn’t be dreading the day I need to leave my little cottage to move back to a condo in the city.
I shouldn’t be begging to work on a case that will keep mefrom my fiancé longer.
It’s not supposed to be like this.
“Nice feathers,”his voice calls to me.
I know who it is without bothering to look up, but when I do, he’s hardly visible in the darkness. He’s leaning against his bike on the curb.
“I didn’t hear you pull up,” I say, pulling the pink boa from around my neck and dropping it on the bench by the door.
“Not surprised. I’m pretty sure you guys broke the sound barrier with your hysterics in there.”So, he’s been here a while.
He strolls a few steps closer, and the light finally touches his face.
“We’re all a little drunk,” I admit, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement.
His smile radiates through me, wrapping me in a security blanket that I know I should toss aside. Instead, I let the warmth take hold and comfort me in ways I’ve been desperate for.
The fear and anxiety that I’m constantly shoving down, that always finds a way to resurface, mystifies when Hayes walks towards me.
When he looks at me.
Because he has me.
The deep guilt for thinking that way claws back to the surface, strangling me.
“What’s wrong, Liv?” He knows. He always knows.
“Um, I’m just feeling a little…” I motion wildly around my head, not explaining further.
“I’m sorry, I can leave.”
