Page 35 of First Loss


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“So you want to be one?”

She shrugs. “I could help other families.”

“You don’t think that would mess with your head?”

“I guess it might. I’d probably have a hard time not checking all my sealed records.”

“You wouldn’t do that. You’re too goody goody.”

She flips me off, and I bark a laugh. “Calm down, dove, I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side.”

“That’s right, and don’t you forget it.” She smiles, and it pulls me from the truck.

“Any plans this weekend?”

“I have a study group on Saturday morning, but other than that, no.”

“A study group… On the weekend?”

“I’m not doing great in AP Chemistry.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You have a B+ instead of an A?”

“No, I have an A, but it’s not about that.” She crosses her arms. “I need to score well on the AP exam.”

I raise my hands in surrender. “You’re right, sorry.”

“Besides, I have nothing better to do. Not like any boys have asked me on a date.”

I try not to flinch externally. “Have your eye on someone?”

“No, not particularly. But I’m starting to feel like a pariah since you aren’t there every day to talk to me between classes. I see the other girls talking to their boyfriends, and it would be nice if anyone noticed me at all.”

“They know you’re my girl, Liv. That’s why they don’t bother.” I wink at her, and she huffs.

“Don’t say that. People will get the wrong idea.”

“What? You don’t want people to think you’re mine?” I ask casually, though my chest has an anvil on it.

“Not when you go around giving every other girl you see a hickey from Hayes.”

“Oh my God. Not this again. It’s been a couple of girls. The nickname is unnecessary.”

“Still.” She shrugs.

“Sounds like you want a hickey from Hayes,” I taunt, slinking over to her.

“Shut up,” she laughs, pushing my face away when I teasingly lunge for her neck.

I laugh with her even though my mouth waters thinking about sinking into her soft skin. She’s a senior now, but she’s only 17…

She’s too young, and I’m just the knucklehead who will screw with her head.

“Love you, Liv,” I tell her unceremoniously because we say it to each other all the time. “Sorry, boys are idiots.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, love you, too.”

Even though I mean it more than each time before, I’ll never cross that line, because there will be no going back.