The same fucking ring I gave her without actually saying the words.No label or promises of what I felt.Just a silent hope that she’d feel it and know.That she’d wear it and understand what I couldn’t say out loud—that she was mine.
I stare at it a moment too long.Then I reach for it, snatch it out of his hand, and tighten my fist around the metal as if I could force the meaning back into it.If I hold it tight enough, maybe she won’t be gone.
“She gave these to Aubrey,” Noah says.“Asked me to give them to you.”
I nod, jaw clenched, and swallow hard.
It fucking burns.Every inch of my throat feels scraped raw.
“Did she say anything else to Aubrey?”I ask, even though I already know the answer.
Noah shakes his head.“No.Not really.”
That’s it.
No final shot at closure, just my stuff handed back to me.
“Fuck,” I mutter, dragging my hands down my face.
Noah leans back and pulls a joint from the front pocket of his hoodie.Lights it up with zero ceremony and even fewer fucks.
He takes a hit, then passes it to me.“Figured you’d need it.”
I take it without a word, bring it to my lips, and inhale deeply enough to feel it claw through my lungs on the way down.
“Thanks,” I mutter, exhaling slowly and watching the smoke curl up toward the ceiling.
We pass the joint between us, silence heavy, smoke swirling through the air.My head spins, but I embrace it.Better to feel high than feel empty.
Noah leans back, eyes half-closed, voice quiet.“You care about her, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I say, without hesitation.My throat’s raw, not from the smoke, but from every fucking word I haven’t said to her.
He takes the joint again.“Then I’ve gotta ask, because she’s Aubrey’s friend, and Aubrey’s not gonna let me hear the end of it if I don’t.”
I glance over at him.
“Why did you do it?”he asks.
I look away and stare directly ahead.
“It wasn’t fucking like that,” I say.
He waits.Calm, quiet, giving me the rope and watching to see if I’ll hang myself or try to climb out of the hole.
The silence lingers.The pain in my chest intensifies because the truth is, I don’t even know how to explain it.
I scrub a hand down my face; the guilt crawling up my throat like it’s got claws.“It started off as a stupid bet with Jace,” I say, words dry and bitter.“She shot me down at that party so fucking fast I didn’t have time to blink.So I ran my mouth.Said shit to save face.”
I lean forward, elbows on my knees, hands hanging uselessly between them.“But it changed.Because I changed.She got under my skin so fast I didn’t even notice it happening.One second I was playing the game, and the next I was falling, and I didn’t know how to stop.”
Noah stays quiet.He doesn’t interrupt; he just observes.
“By the time I actually did the shit I said to Jace, I didn’t tell him.I couldn’t.Hated the fucking bet.Even when she asked me about it, I told her it wasn’t a thing anymore.Lied to her face because I thought if I ignored it, it’d go away.”
I exhale sharply, eyes fixed on the floor.“But it didn’t.And when Jace opened his mouth, I was already in too deep.It was real to me.We were going to make it official that morning we walked in together.She wasn’t some fuck to me or a bet.”My voice drops lower.“I wanted her.All of her.”
“Did you say it?”
