Chapter Thirty-Six
“Slipping back into the way it was before a heartbreak can be tough, but that first kiss back makes all of it worth it. Speaking from experience.”- Quinn
ELIZABETH
Rora skips down the road, the sun high in the sky and making sweat drip down the back of my blouse.
“Good afternoon, Elizabeth!” I catch a glimpse of Betty, who runs the apothecary two doors down from Derek, smiling and waving. I wave back and continue on.
This isn’t the first time since I’ve been walking up this road that someone’s stopped and said hello. It’s like stepping into a portal, this road. Everyone, for the most part, is friendly and nice, like I imagine Denver was fifty years ago.
Rora giggles as we reach Fowler Hardware, and the bag of fake foliage I brought weighs heavily. Without waiting for me, she’s in the shop, like we never left.
The bell jingles above my head as I enter, and I can already hear Derek talking to Rora, excitement in his words.
Since last week, we’ve not gone one day without seeing each other. He’s been over for dinner every night, helping me take care of Rora and razzing my sister about where she’s always running off to.
He helps cook and clean, and last night, we stood by the couch together and sorted and folded laundry. I didn’t ask for him to help me, but he also didn’t ask if he needed to help. He just did it.
It’s been a relief to have him back in my life again, but we’ve yet to do anything more than cuddle on the couch and hold hands.
I haven’t let him kiss me yet, and he hasn’t pushed.
I don’t know what it is about kissing, but there was still something holding me back. I desperately wanted to. I want to grab him by his gorgeous face and pull him to me, kissing his soft, pillow-like lips.
But every time I tell myself to do it, something holds me back.
Derek glances up as I turn a corner, and his face lights up with a wide grin at the sight of me. I feel a sense of relief climb through my veins and set down the bag I’ve been carrying.
“This is a great surprise,” Derek says, with Rora on his hip and laying her head on his shoulder in a way that tells me she feels the long day just as much as anyone. Her hand was up near the side of his head, her fingers rubbing against his earlobe.
It’s maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, her feeling so comfortable and, frankly, comforted by him that she has a special routine with him.
It just solidifies what we are, what the three of us could easily become.
“Sorry if we’re barging—”
“Never.”
Derek’s interruption makes me smile, but I nod down to the greenery at my feet. “I thought the front window might need a spring theme.”
“I’m so glad you said that, I agree.” He steps forward, still holding Aurora like it’s nothing, and peeks into the bag. “Perfect. We can just replace the winter stuff. I can get the lettering removed, and we can write something else on it.”
“Okay,” I reply and grab the bag. Rora follows him to the back, and both he and Rora come back with the remover for the window.
We work as a three-man team to reset the front window, with him working on the designs that I painted on there acouple of months ago and me undoing the window foliage and replacing it with spring décor.
The task is easy to stay quiet on, but there is one thing I’ve been dying to do that I wish I could do now. I glance at Derek, who’s holding Rora up so she can hang the foliage on a hook.
The other night, when we sat on the couch and just held each other, I felt that missing piece of me quietly and snugly fit back into place. While Derek was away, I hadn’t felt that contentedness that he brings into my life. I’ve been floating through, trying to tell myself that I wasn’t ready.
But maybe it isn’t that, maybe it’s fear of him thinking I’m too much, too high maintenance, not worth the effort it would take to actually be with me and stay with me.
I don’t want to let that fear win.
“Well, this is looking great!” We all turn toward the voice and smile at my parents walking up the road to the store. “Love the spring theme,” my mom says, looking it over. She passes a subtle look to me, and I give her a slow nod.
My parents have been unbelievably supportive of me over the last few weeks, letting me take my time to get back to where I was before with Derek, letting me heal before shoving me back into Derek’s arms. I know both of them felt that us being together was the right thing, we all feelthat way. But like the amazing parents they were, they let me get here on my own.
