It’s better kept than mine is, honestly, and it makes me want to go home and clean my car.
“You okay?” he asks, shifting to third as we merge onto a highway. Oh yeah, and it’s a manual. One thing I didn’t know about myself was that watching a man’s forearm muscles and veins flex as they shift gears is something I found to be damn sexy.
Or maybe it’s because Derek is the one doing it.
That’s probably more likely.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m great!” I say a little too loudly for the space we’re in and sigh. “How was the shop this week?”
Derek shrugs and sways his head back and forth. “It actually had a little traction. I had some of the other shop owners stop in a few times to get some things. That hasn’t happened in a while.”
“Well, that’s great.” I say, keeping something to myself. I may or may not have wandered the street of those shops this week, mentioning that if they ever have any hardware needs, they should go to Fowler. I didn’t think, at the time, anything would really come of it. But I guess I was wrong.
“It was, actually. Gives me some hope that I might be able to keep this up.”
“I really hope you can, Derek. You deserve to keep your dad’s shop. Plus, it’s a great foundation for something more.”
I reach into my purse and grab my phone, flipping it over to check it for messages. Nothing.
“Rora okay?” Derek asks, noticing my phone out.
“Oh, she’s fine. I know she is. And I likely won’t hear a peep from my folks this weekend while they have her,” I reply, letting my head fall back. “It’s just, I’m overprotective, I guess. I hate when she’s away and I’mnot right there to take care of her.” I shake my head. “I know, I sound nuts.”
“No, not at all.” Derek bites his lip and takes an off-ramp. I never asked where we’re going, but I figure with him driving I don’t have to worry about it all that much. “My mom left when I was Rora’s age.”
I blink in surprise, turning my gaze at him. “She left?”
He nods, turning the wheel of the car when the light turns green. “Yup. Didn’t want to deal with my dad or me anymore and took off. I never saw her again.”
“Derek,” I say, resting my hand gently on his forearm. “I had no idea. I assumed…”
I don’t even want to finish my sentence because now, it feels rude.
“You assumed she died?” he asks, nodding when I confirm. “Yeah, most people do. But no, she was a selfish woman who left a good man and a perfect child.” He flashes a dimple at me, and I grin back. “And went off to live out her fantasies.”
I scoff and sit back in my seat. My head starts to shake of its own accord, and I think of what that must feel like as the child. Of course, Rora’s biological father did the same thing. He just did it before he was ever involved in her life.
How can parents do that? How can the human species be so selfish, but not only that, how could you leave your child behind?
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I answer, my chest vibrating with anger for sweet four-year-old Derek, who didn’t understand why his mother didn’t want him. “I’m pissed. How dare she?” I scoff again, growling under my breath. “Man. If she was here right now, I’d wring her neck myself. She does not know what she missed out on. And your poor dad! Ugh.”
Derek reaches over, placing his hand over mine when we’re stopped at a light. “Hey, it’s all right. I’m better off the way I am. Always was.” I turn and see him give me a soft look, one that’s already been through the anger I was feeling on his behalf. “My dad raising me on his own was the best life I could have asked for. I didn’t need a mom there who didn’t want to be there, that would have made both of our lives harder.”
For a moment, I take a deep breath and miss the warmth of his hand when he has to drive again. He pulls into a parking garage, and I sit in silence for a moment, gathering myself while he parks.
When he does, he hops out and comes to open my door. I take his hand and stand up in front of him, calmer now.
“I didn’t mean to get all worked up,” I say, grumbling under my breath.
Derek studies me for a moment, and missing is the teasing glint that typically lies within the depths of his eyes. Right now, he’s taking our conversation, and my reaction to it, seriously. “Can I ask why you did?”
I bite the inside of my lip, mad that I let myself feel anger tonight when it should be all about fun. I want to have fun. I’ve been hinting for weeks to this man in front of me that I want to date him, and here we are, on the perfect setup for one, and I’m stepping in it.
“Rora’s dad—biological sperm donor,” I correct. “He took off the moment I got pregnant with her.” Derek’s gaze seems to darken at that bit of news. “As soon as I told him I was pregnant, all the fun we had in our relationship was a distant memory. Suddenly, I was a very serious girlfriend and mother of his child, and that was too much for him.” I shrug, unsure why I still let it bother me. “He left and never looked back.”
Derek’s jaw muscles clench, and I find myself mesmerized by them for a moment. “Good.”
