My pleas fall on deaf ears, and I stop asking Lance and Larissa for assistance. Suddenly, they both appear in front of me, crouched down so they can look me in my eyes.
“Just admit it,” Larissa says, her eyes nearly the same shade as Lance’s, only a little bit darker. “You never wanted this life.”
“What?” I don’t know why she’s saying that.
“She’s right,” Lance adds. “You didn’t want this. But that out there…” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “You brought that on yourself.”
“No, I didn’t!” I shout at him. “Why are you being like this? Why are you saying such mean things? Why can’t you just love me unconditionally without anything else getting in the way?”
“Because everyone knows you wanted this.” His response doesn’t exactly make sense to me. I squeeze my eyes shut, emotion palming my heart and squeezing. It shatters at the same time the windows do, a final crashing of waves collapsing them inward.
Water rushes in, taking over the entire floor. The same one I’m lying on.
“No,” I mutter as seawater charges over my entire body. I spurt out a mouthful of it. “Please, Lance. Help me!”
“If you want help, you’re going to have to find it yourself,” he says before standing and walking away. I watch as he and Larissa vanish into thin air. Tears track my eyes, salt blending with salt. Garbled screams leave me as I beg for someone to save me.
I suck in air, attempting to drink in the last little bit of available oxygen. Too soon, the rolling waves of water come in over the windowsills, covering my body and filling my lungs.
My body jolts awake, and I gasp.
My mind is slightly disoriented, which makes it difficult to catalogue my surroundings, but eventually, I recognize the bedroom around me. My eyes dart to the windows, but it’s dark and the curtains shade them, keeping the moonlight from spilling in through the white-wood blinds.
My chest rises and falls in quick succession, and I smooth my hands over the top comforter. I also move my legs and wiggle my toes, thankful I can actually feel them.Thank god.I pull myself up and rest back on the headboard, my eyes wide and huge as they adjust to the black room.
It was just a nightmare.
It wasn’t real.
Lance’s soft snoring comes from beside me, slow puffs of air inhaling and exhaling through his nose. He wasn’t there when I came to bed, which means he must’ve come in late.
I ignore the pang that causes and try to move on from the nightmare I just had, settling on how helpless I felt. How I was a victim of the ocean again. A sickening feeling plops in my gut when Larissa and Lance’s voices—and their unfiltered accusations—echo in my mind.
My stomach twists, lurching like a rollercoaster going full speed only to stop and go just as fast backwards. Eventually, I can’t take it anymore and walk into the en suite bathroom.
“Oh god,” I murmur to myself, already tasting the bile at the back of my throat. I retch a second later, gagging on stomach acid and disposing of it in the toilet. When I’m done, and feeling better, I flush, rinse with mouthwash, and head back to bed.
I don’t suspect I’ll be sleeping any time soon, though. Not with my dream so fresh in my mind, that sensation of fear heavy and all-consuming as it sits on my chest and doesn’t move.
When I climb back into bed, I accidentally disturb Lance from sleep. He shuffles, turning to face me, eyes squinting against the reality of being awake. “Emory?”
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
His voice is rough with sleep. “Why are you up?”
“I had to go pee,” I lie.
The last thing I need to talk to him about is being woken up from a nightmare that forced the contents of my stomach out of me.
He wouldn’t understand.
But you know someone who would.
Dr. Cole’s face appears in my mind—strong jaw, curly brown hair, kind eyes—and I desperately want to reach for it all while knowing I can’t.
“Okay…” he trails off, almost like he doesn’t entirely believe me. “Well, go back to bed.”
“Yeah,” my voice is low, “I am.”
