“I don’t want the strain, Violet. I love you and your sister. Your mom, too. Despite what you may think. What happened…well, it never should have. I feel terrible for doing that to you. It was your birthday, and I don’t want to get into all the specifics, but I’ve known for a long time that I’m a borderline addict when it comes to…” He lets that last word hang in the air. I’m glad for it becauseew.“I know that’s uncomfortable to hear, so I’ll leave it at that, but everyone has struggles they face. Including me and your mom. What makes our relationship strong is knowing that we don’t have to face them alone.”
“It’s none of my business.” I’m not sure how much more I can listen to without throwing up. I’m ready to move on. “You were right to tell me to stay out of it. Whatever challenges you face are for you and her to get through.”
I take a deep breath, and for the first time in months, it feels like it finally reaches the deepest part of my lungs. To move on from his infidelity and openly talk about it without tension coiling in my body. It’s progress I’m proud of.
“Thank you for saying that. Your mom and I haven’t had a perfect marriage, but we love the hell out of each other. She has accepted who I am in all areas of my life, and I’ve done the same for her. Anyone else would have bailed. Not her. Her love has gotten us over mountains and rescued us out of valleys. You remind me of her in that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” he clears his throat, “I just mean that your love is worth its weight in gold. Anyone would be lucky to have that from you. I know that’s why you felt so horrible over that day and why you didn’t want to talk to me for the longest time.” Hesighs deeply. “It doesn’t take me being a rocket scientist to know I broke my little girl’s heart.”
“You did,” I tell him, my voice quiet as I take another sip of my warm drink. My heart tugs a little in my chest, wanting a big hug in return for all the heartache. “I do love you so much, which is exactly why I took it so hard.”
He nods. “I’m so sorry I took advantage of that. I’m sorry that it happened on your birthday, and I promise it’ll never happen again. I fired Nina, and I’m…getting help. At the end of the day, you three are what’s most important to me. It has always been that way.”
I nibble on my lip and say three words I couldn’t say months ago. “I forgive you.”
He looks over at me, his hair swept back in a mess and a faint stubble growing over his cheeks that he’ll wake up and shave tomorrow. “Yeah?”
“You’re you. Can’t be mad at you forever.”
He huffs out a tiny chuckle. “Honestly, I thought you were going to be.”
“Yeah, I was a bit bratty there for a minute.”
“No, not bratty. You were hurt. And it was justified.” He lifts his palm between us. “New slate, sweetheart?”
I smile and place my hand in his, glad to finally have a resting place for what happened. “New slate, old man.”
We shake on it, and I scoot closer to him, offering him half of my blanket. He situates it over his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I’m not that old,” he balks.
“Eh, you’re more gray now than anything.” He sweeps his hand through his hair and kicks off the porch for us to swing back. “Just wait until Olive starts getting on your case about going bald.”
“She better not,” he says around a chuckle.
“Oh, she’s going to. The second she notices your hair is receding,” I click my tongue. “Done for.”
He pats my leg and doesn’t bother getting on my case about joking with him. That’s the best thing about dads. You can beat up on them all day every day. Physically, emotionally, mentally. And they just continue to take it as if there’s a shield covering their body and the teasing pings right off them.
When I glance up, he has a relieved expression on his face. So unlike how it was the last time we were out here. “You have no idea how happy this makes me. Us being okay again.”
“I wasn’t sure we’d get here, but I met someone, and his experiences have helped me learn that maybe I’ve been a little unfair.”
“Met someone, huh?”
“It’s complicated.”
He pats my leg again. “All the best loves are.”
THIRTY
COLSON
Old text messages…
Violet:Out of my mind missing you today.
