“We just haven’t really talked or hung out,” I say, giving her space by dropping her wrist and taking a step back. “Just checking in.”
“Do us both a favor, Violet, and don’t.”
My bottom lip curls into my mouth when she reminds me of the type of person she is, and I nod, leaving it at that. There’s nothing I can say that’ll end with us laughing it out or in each other’s arms.
As soon as she walks out the door, I track down my phone and send a message to Everleigh, telling her about Sylvia. That it’s only a matter of time before her behavior catches up to her and she makes a mess of her life, if she hasn’t done so already.
I setmy pencil on the pull-out desk in front of me. The auditorium my professor teaches Language and Literacy in is a temporary placement until his classroom gets the fresh coat of paint the administrative department promised three weeks ago. Only, when they went in to start the project, there was a leak they had to deal with first.
It's pushed back completion, bottling us up in a different room. It’s not all bad, but the desks are small, the area between each seat miniscule. I don’t know how some of the guys are fitting into them, especially the jocks with their thick thighs and meaty torsos.
I send a quick glance around the room then start flipping through my exam. It’s ten pages, front and back, with an essay section on the last page. My nerves are all over the place. I need to just push everything else out of my mind, but it’s hard when I’d rather run in Colson’s direction.
I want to see him.
Hug him.
Make unrealistic promises, like tell him everything will be okay.
He lives in all the nooks and crannies of my mind as I check boxes and try not to second guess myself. My eyelids are heavy, and my eyes have this overwhelming dryness to them that always seems to come every spring when pollen coats everything. Not to mention I’ve been up since five, because I couldn’t fall back asleep.
When I think I’ve finally answered all the questions correctly, I collect my belongings and hoist my messenger bag over my shoulder. I’m at the end of the row, so thankfully, I don’t have to shimmy and excuse my way past peoples’ legs. I quietly set my packet down with the other few who are already done on the professor’s desk and offer a smile. He gives me a subtle nod and turns back to his laptop.
I head in the direction of the closest coffee spot on campus. They’re sprinkled all over the place, and usually have the same menu. I wait in line to fill up on caffeine since I plan on heading to the gym after. I have a short break in the day before having to show up to my Family Child Care class and finish that final.
One step closer to winter break.
I’m waiting to collect my order when strong arms envelop my shoulders. I see the hint of a green shirt and smile, knowing exactly who it is. Green is Sebastian’s favorite color, and I’d be doing him an injustice by saying that it doesn’t match up against his slightly darker skin tone damn near perfectly.
“You good to share what you ordered?” he asks with a cheeky smile.
“No way in hell.”
“Aw, come on. I’m working hard over here, too, you know.” He releases his hold on me, and I twist around to see his fullframe. He doesn’t look like he needs coffee, that’s for sure. In fact, he looks like he woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. As if his cousin’s life and sanity aren’t up against the test of time. As if said cousin didn’t have his hand around his neck a mere few days ago.
“Are you almost done?” I ask him, referring to his finals schedule.
“Two down this morning,” he confirms, hands on the straps of his bookbag. “One more this afternoon and then I have two tomorrow, but one is more of a presentation than an actual exam.” The lady at the coffee kiosk calls my name and hands over my coffee. I fall in step with Sebastian, heading in the direction of the campus gym. It’s a trek, but it’ll be worth it when some of this tension in my body melts away. “What about you?”
“Two today, two tomorrow.” I blow through the small slit in my coffee cup, hoping it’ll cool down its near-lava temperature.
“Think you did okay?”
“I mean, I think I definitely passed.” I tilt my coffee just enough for it to scald my tastebuds. I wince and blow on it more. “But I don’t think I’m going to get the straight A’s I initially wanted.”
He bumps his arm into mine. “I’m sorry all this shit is happening right now. It’s the worst possible time for it, but we all appreciate you being there for him.”
I mean, I wouldn’t exactly say I’ve been there.
Every time I’ve tried, Colson has pushed me away, but I don’t remind him of that.
“I just wish he’d realize that he’s not alone. That there are people a call away who would drop everything for him.” Sebastian frowns, and I think our minds both go to the same thing. “Has he talked more about what happened at the lawyer’s office?”
“I haven’t been around since…”Since Colson had his hand wrapped around his throat. “I needed a little bit of space to focus on my finals.” He shakes his head in this solemn kind of way. Sebastian’s naturally grinning expression fades and replacing it is a version of him I don’t see often. I think he’s genuinely worried about Colson. And maybe wonders if we’ll be able to help him. I understand that. I’ve had moments where I think the same. Where I’m unsure if we’re strong enough to hold Colson up while his legs aren’t able to do it for him.
“What happened has been a lot. It’s normal to need a break from it. To have your own space. I’m sorry he did that to you, Sebastian.”
“It’s not your thing to apologize for. Besides, I know that isn’t him,” he tells me as we follow the walking path. “He’s never crossed those lines with me or with anyone I know. He’s just trying to redirect his pain onto someone else. Easier to make it through the day that way.”
