I’mforty minutes into looking over my notes for my language and literacy development class when the soft piano music on my phone comes to a sudden stop. My ringtone blares in place of it.
I texted Olive earlier to see what her plans were for the holiday break, but she said she was in the studio this evening, so I know it’s definitely not her.
I pick up my phone. Sebastian’s name fills the screen. When he drove me home from the cemetery earlier, I gave him a quick farewell, waved goodbye and flew up to my apartment with a heavy heart.
Watching Colson sink into himself, his eyes pleading for my help, for me to give myself over to him when he knew I couldn’t, was too much. While this push and pull might’ve been cute at first, it’s just hurting us now.
And I don’t want that for either of us.
I’m quick to answer the call, averting my gaze from my notebook. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Violet.” My name comes out of him in a winded breath.
My stomach swoops low. I drop my pencil on the desk. I don’t pay attention to it as it rolls off the edge and bounces to the floor. “Please just tell me he’s okay.”
“Physically, yes. For now, anyway. Emotionally…he’s fucking wrecked.”
I push out of my chair and slip on a pair of tennis shoes as I hold the phone to my ear with my shoulder. I don’t care that I’m in sweats and an oversized sweatshirt or that my hair is up in one of the messiest buns imaginable.
My throat is lodged closed when I ask, “Where are you? Where is he?”
“His mom’s place. I just stepped outside for a second because…” Noise filters in from the background, but I can’t make out what it is.
“Sebastian?”
“Sorry, I, uh, can you just get here? He’s losing his shit, and I’ve tried to calm him down, but he’s drinking. My only other option was to call my mom, but I think that would’ve just made it worse. He needs someone to ground him. You’re the only one who I thought might be able to do that.”
“No, it’s okay,” I insist. “I’m leaving now.”
“Be careful on the 401. He needs you in one piece, and Violet?”
I grab my bag and keys off the hook by the front door, my studies quickly forgotten and my body humming with alarm. I jab the elevator button repeatedly until the doors open. “Yeah?”
“I’ve never seen him like this. Just…prepare yourself.”
I ride the elevator down. My call with Sebastian ends, and I shove my phone into my bag as I race out of the building to my car. I fumble with my keys as I start the ignition and barely brake at the stop sign leading out onto Main Street.
Traffic isn’t as horrendous as I expect it to be, but dusk makes it difficult to see as the sun sets on the horizon. I take my time when it’s an absolute must and cross the Sycamore Memorial Bridge, pedal to the metal. I tap my brakes when necessary, then floor it.
I find Colson’s mom’s house easier than last time. My car comes to a screeching halt at the curb behind Sebastian’s Aviator, my body purring with nervous energy.
It’s like déjà vu as I follow the sidewalk up to the house. Not so long ago, Colson warned me about what we’d find inside the walls of the home he grew up in.
I believed him then, and I believe Sebastian now.
My legs are weak, threatening to buckle, as I skip up the steps and land on the stoop. I’m not sure if I should knock or just walk in. It’s hard to gauge which option is smartest but when I hear a crash and my stomach jumps up the back of my throat, I bolt inside.
The futon in the small living room is a crumbled mess in the middle of the floor. The coffee table is on its side against the wall. There’s a new dent in the drywall where the corner of it is stuck.
Someone shouts. It takes me seconds to realize it’s Colson.
It’s the angriest I’ve ever heard him.
A chair flies across the back of the living room where the room opens up to the kitchen. It smashes against the wall, tearing the wallpaper before thudding to the floor in a broken mess.
“Dude! You need to calm down!”
It’s slightly calming knowing Sebastian is here. That I’m not walking into this alone. I’m not scared Colson will hurt me. More so that he’ll hurt himself—that he already has—and I won’t know what to do to help him.
