“There’s no judgment.”
I swallow, suddenly uncomfortable. Yep. I should’ve gone with calling an Uber back to the apartment. “Then what is it?”
“Just processing.”
I’m not sure what to say to that.
“I saw the way he was looking at you,” he adds.
For some reason, it makes me think about the girl in the quad Sylvia mentioned, and I lower my gaze.
“He wants you, but you don’t want him.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re in a tub with me and I’m little more than a stranger to you. I have been an ass to you. Yet you’re here and not out there.”
A thread pulls free from the hem of my shirt, and I twist it around my finger. “I don’t want to be out there, and you’re not a stranger.”
He’s Sebastian’s cousin, and if Sebastian opened his apartment to him then I shouldn’t be worried about us not knowing each other better yet. Not when I trust his cousin’s insight tenfold.
He moves his hand in from the outside of the tub, instead propping his elbow up and running his finger over his bottom lip. He plucks it as he watches me. All over again, a sweep of warmth flows over me, and we fall into a comfortable silence. I lose time, not that I’m keeping track. My phone in my back pocket pushes into my butt cheek uncomfortably. The thump from the music downstairs travels through the house. Even in the quietest room, there’s still a dull vibration in the walls. The only time it lets up is when the song changes, and it barely lasts two seconds.
I find it strange, being able to sit with someone and not needing to say a word. Something about Colson tells me that it’s okay not to talk, even if there are so many words that want to come out. Aside from his initial question about Webber, he doesn’t nag for more. He doesn’t offer anything about himselfeither. Our quiet exhales bounce between the tub walls like a ping pong ball, and honestly, it’s the best I’ve felt since I first found yoga.
I don’t even feel this way when my friends are nearby. It’s like walking on eggshells being around Sylvia. And Everleigh is too busy trying to mend her occasionally difficult relationship with Tristan. The dynamics have changed. My perceptions of people have morphed. More and more, I find myself wanting to spend time alone, rather than worrying about entertaining others.
It shouldn’t be this way.
I should feel comfortable with the people I’ve spent the last two years of my life with.
Comfortable enough to share what I’m going through.
Yet I’m not.
TEN
COLSON
I don’t knowwhy she’s sitting in this tub with me. Time crept away from me a long time ago, and I left my phone back at the apartment to charge. There’s no way for me to check how long I’ve been here, and I’m antsy to leave. Have been since I walked in with Sebastian and saw two guys using a credit card to cut lines of cocaine.
I promised Sebastian I’d put an effort into getting to know his friends. I don’t want it to be awkward now that I’m around, but not long after we arrived, I set out to separate myself from the college experience. When I couldn’t find a quiet corner downstairs, I ventured upstairs. I found this tub and climbed in, like I used to do when I was kid and Mom would get into fights with the men she’d occasionally bring home.
I never wanted to get caught up in the middle of their disagreements. I was smart enough to stay away when drugs and alcohol were involved. I’ve seen the way they can change a person’s personality and perception of life. It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I stopped hiding away in the house and left instead. I started to spend a lot more time at Gulliver’s. I hid there, using the punching bags as my way to move through the feelings.
I was angry over a lot of shit back then.
Violet clears her throat. I glance up, mesmerized by the curve of her cheekbones in the low light and the way her brown eyes look almost black in the darkness.
I knew it was her the second she stepped into the bathroom. I peeked through the edge of the curtain and watched her drink from the faucet and splash water on her cheeks. I wondered why she slid to the floor with slouched shoulders. It wasn’t until I heard her murmur that I gave myself away.
Her leg rubs against mine, though I don’t think it’s for any other reason than the space being cramped. The tub is bigger than what it appears from the outside, but shit, I’m six feet tall. I’d kill to stretch my long legs out, but I don’t want to walk away from this moment yet.
I’m enjoying the silence too much, and I like that she stayed.
After my first impression involved walking in on her, and I treated her like shit when my car got a flat, I’m not exactly sure where I stand with her. But I know she wouldn’t be here if she felt even the littlest bit of indifference. An assumption I hope I’m correct on.
That or she feels a lot more toward Webber than she lets on and is hiding from him. Maybe not dealing with him is the better of two evils. Either way, I’m eating this up. I shouldn’t want to, but a piece of me wants to chisel into her exterior to extract the thoughts she must be thinking.
