When his tongue runs the length of my mouth, I gladly open for him. I taste him, gliding mine along his before sucking and taking andpouringlove into him.
A grumble of a moan works up his throat. The hand that’s on my waist pinches me tighter. The desire under my dress burns hotter. All because of this man and the need I have for him.
He pulls away a second later, breathing heavily and pressing his forehead to mine. “You’re fucking perfect.”
“Not even close.”
“You are. Couldn’t have done tonight without you.”
He pulls me tighter against him, our bodies flush with each other as his embrace drowns me.
I am falling, drifting, sinking into the body of water that is Colson Moore. He is so much more than he thinks. This man with years of heartache under his belt is pure fucking beauty, and as long as he wants me by his side, I’ll be there.
FORTY
COLSON
I wouldn’t be hereif it wasn’t for Violet. She’s keeping me grounded. Not to mention how goddamn beautiful she is. It’s the first time I’ve seen her dressed up, and honestly, I’m surprised most of the male population in this place isn’t on their knees pleading for her attention. I’m surprisedIhaven’t dropped to my knees. But we both know if I did, I’d be begging for way more than attention.
She’s trusted me with what’s gone down with her family, and more than ever, I trust her with mine. I can’t keep my eyes off her. She’s the best distraction I’ve ever had, the best form of medication to lessen my anxiety.
During speeches, individuals who graduated from Second Chances’ rehabilitation program take the stage, talking about their journeys and how they’ve stayed straight. It’s hard, seeing them up there but not my mom.
I imagine her face in place of each speaker, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not her. She’s not here. She hasn’t taken the steps to strangle the addiction that’s kept such a strong hold on her. I pay attention, but after so long, I find myself focusing more on the table I’m sitting at than the people who deserve the recognition I’m having a hard time giving.
Not because I don’t find it amazing that they’ve done better for themselves, but because the person who I want well again, isn’t up there.
They’re the worst kind of egocentric thoughts I’ve probably ever had. When it feels like too much, Violet reaches over and holds my hand. At the perfect time. Like she’s in my head, thinking the thoughts with me.
I’m lucky as hell to have her.
I don’t deserve her patience, but like hell if I’m going to throw it away now. Not when she can draw me out of my shell, quiet the doubts and worries, and make me feel normal for once.
I catch something Aunt Bess says from across the table. I only hear the tail end of it, but I assume she’s talking about the outcome of the evening so far. With speeches over, we’ll move into the silent auction, but first there’s a break in between. A short space of time for people to mingle and stretch their legs. Use the restroom. Get fresh air.
Violet’s voice comes from beside me, but she’s talking to my aunt and uncle. I’m too self-absorbed to include myself in the conversation. In all honesty, Violet doesn’t need me. She’s done well conversing with the table on her own. It helps that Sebastian’s parents are kind-spirited the same way he is. Easy to talk to and non-judgmental.
“Colson, how are you feeling?” Aunt Bess is at my side before I realize she stands from her seat, nipping at me like a vulture for an answer but she’s much gentler in comparison. A saint, really. She rests her hand on my shoulder. “You’re handling it better than I expected.”
She says that, but she’s not in my head. She doesn’t know that, for a second, I looked at one of the speakers and thought of them being weak rather than strong. That I’ve wished someone else could replace their success only to have the guilt hit me afterward.
“Thanks,” I reply, but it’s hollow.
It only confirms what I already know; that I’m not over the expanse of my mom’s addiction, and so the last thing I need is for her to look at me with pride in her eyes.
She bends down to give me a hug. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad you came.”
I smile at the thought, feeling the warmth that hits me under the ribs from her affection.
Her phone rings a second later, causing her to pull back and reach for it by her plate setting. Uncle Thad stands and hands it to her before following her into the crowd behind us.
“Silent auction starts in ten,” Sebastian reminds, tapping his fork on the table.
I’m half-inclined to ask why the hell his date didn’t show up after he pressed me about mine last week, but I don’t have the energy. I’ll have to wait until later when I can give him my full attention.
Violet turns to me. “Want to go for a quick walk? I know a hallway that might be a little quieter than the ballroom,” she teases, taking me back to the kiss we shared before the speeches.
I wanted way more than that one kiss. I wanted to run my palms against her bare skin after pulling that dress down her body. I wanted to watch her stand in front of me, her eyes connecting with mine in a way that tells me all I need to know—that she wants me just as bad, if not more, than I want her.
