Violet: *grimacing emoji* Meat lover’s?
Colson: Bingo.
Colson: If I eat another slice, I’m going to puke.
Violet: For the love of pizza, please don’t puke.
Colson: Just the smell of it makes me want to gag.
Violet: Plug your nose. Gagging is the gateway action to puking.
Colson:Don’t think that’s always the case, Vi…
Violet: …
Violet: Ignoring whatever you’re about to say next.
Colson:Vi, do you have that pretty head in the gutter?
Violet: My head is right where it belongs. In my studies, thank you very much.
Colson: I can think of a better place for it to be.
Violet: COLSON.
Lookingone last time at the small pile of cash in my bookbag, I zip it up and slide it onto my back. I’m quick to double check that my car is locked and head down the trail that leads to the strip. It’s dusk, and nightfall will come soon, but it’s as if a new day is dawning because the second I hand this money over to Finn, my business with him will be done.
I plan to tell him that. I’m done answering to him. I’m wiping my hands clean of fixing the messes my mom makes and associating with the Lincolns.
I can’t continue to put my life on hold for her now that I’ve finally let myself go when it comes to Violet. For a long time, I told myself I couldn’t walk away. That it wouldn’t be fair to leave her.
Aunt Bess has in her own way.
Her parents did too—though I don’t think that was entirely by choice. Alcoholism ran so deep with my grandfather that his liver failed him before I can remember any decent memories with the man, and my grandmother was gone soon after.
I don’t want Mom to be alone. But if I keep on this path, I’ll make myself sick with regrets—I can feel it deep in my bones. I almost walked away from Violet because of it.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out, unlocking the screen to see who messaged me. Violet’s name is there in my contact list, the last message dated from a few hours ago. A kissy face emoji I can’t wait to turn into reality. I’m dying to see her after being apart all day. More so to have her on my arm during Aunt Bess’s fundraiser coming up.
I click on the incoming message.
Sebastian:Dude, where are you?
We haven’t had time to bond since the holiday. He stayed with his parents for the weekend then came back to the apartment the following morning, but I was already back to work and have spent all my spare time with my girl, so I haven’t seen him.
Colson:Apartment gym.
I’d never openly admit what the hell it is I’m doing. I’ve kept it from him for this long. There’s no reason to let the cat out of the bag now. Once I hand over this money, it’ll be over. There won’t be a reason for Finn to be in my life, so I ignore the ever present guilt clouding my vision, blinking it away when another message comes through.
Sebastian:I was just in there looking for you.
Colson:Was on the treadmill but wanted fresh air. Probably just missed me. What’s up?
Only a couple seconds pass. I’m bypassing two people leaning against a dirty brick building with bags on their laps, their clothes worn, when my phone vibrates again in my hand.
Sebastian:We’re all going out for food. Wanted you to come.
Colson:Go without me. I’ll be a while yet.
