I glide my palm down the outside of her leg, stopping halfway to her knee before slowly sliding back up. The only thing that’d make this better is if it was skin on skin, but I know the impossibility of that. How…as much as I’d like to have her, it’s a pipe dream. I have too much going on to have a girlfriend, much less one like Violet. She doesn’t deserve the pain of my past or my present.
Still, I can’t seem to pull away.
I give myself a minute to live in the moment, marking the way she feels in my memory. Loving the heat that whips through my body from it.
“Goddamn it, Violet,” I purr into her ear, dragging my thumb out from under her band and moving my hand around to her backside. I let go for one second, dropping my hand to her firm ass. I round my palm over her—so fucking enticing—and squeeze, gripping hard like I’ve imagined for weeks now.
She pushes back into my hand, her back arching in a way that presses her shoulders back. I’m tempted to lower my lips to the side of her neck and greedily suck and kiss until she’s donning a small purple bruise from me.
“Every time I see you in these…it drives me out of my mind.”
“Colson…” she murmurs, a big breath leaving her as she lowers her other foot to the ground. “God, your hand feels like it’s meant to be there.”
She reaches her hand back, her palm grasping my forearm just enough to act as a douse of cold water to my scalding body.
Fuck.
What the hell am I doing?
Violet is someone I never knew I truly needed. I can’t ruin our friendship by fucking her. Now that I have her—even as just a friend—I don’t want to think about what it would be like if she wasn’t around.
Not to mention how my life is a mess.
I pull away entirely, hating the way it feels to not have her filling my hand. I give myself a second to get rid of the semi I’m rocking then curve around her, moving back to my mat where I should’ve stayed the entire time.
I never should have touched her.
I think of what it would be like to let go and allow myself to have this—have her, but it doesn’t feel right. Because at the end of the day, I know I’d hurt her. And I can’t do that.
I light the figurative match and let the flames eat up the flirtatious hint I’ve added in the air, and just like that, she bounces back to teacher mode, instructing me on which pose to move into next with flushed cheeks.
And I listen because why the fuck wouldn’t I?
I’d do anything for this girl.
Except let myself have her.
TWENTY-SEVEN
COLSON
“Bro, you good?”
I lift my head up to find Tristan next to the table with a questioning look on his face. His cheeks are flushed from the bottle of alcohol he’s been carrying around and drinking. Last time I spotted him, he was in the corner of the living area with Everleigh, whispering into her ear. From the looks of it, the two of them have seemingly worked out whatever drove us all to Lucy’s.
His eyebrow hitches up in question, and I know if I don’t answer, it’ll only cause tension I don’t want to have to deal with.
“Yeah.” I nod my chin at him. “I’m good.”
I’d be better if the music was lowered a notch and Violet was closer than halfway across the room. Everleigh is next to her, and Sylvia isn’t far, chatting it up with some dude that Sebastian invited over.
He shot me a quick text earlier to warn me of what I would be walking into when I got home. It said his gaming buddies were coming over to fuck around with that new game that finally came out. The one he was talking about the very first day I met Violet. Except he failed to mention the girls would be here or that booze would be involved.
I can’t scare away the memories of my yoga session with Violet. How fucking good she looked. How I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. How she finished out the workout with me like nothing ever happened and went her own way soon after.
“You don’t look good.”
I trail my thumb over my glass of water and bring it to my lips. “I don’t?”
