What if he doesn't come back?
The thought steals the air from my lungs. What if this storm takes him from us the way illness took Daryn? What if Amisra wakes up tomorrow having lost another person she loves, and I have to live knowing I wasted the time we had together because I was too scared to risk being hurt?
Who cares if he holds my contract when I want to give him everything anyway? My trust, my body, my heart—all of it. Not because I'm obligated or owned or have no other choice, but because he's Valas and he's kind and brave and so impossibly good it makes me want to weep.
Because he looks at me like I'm starlight and calls me that with such tenderness it feels like prayer. Because he's never once used the power he has over me and I don't believe he ever will. Because I love him.
The realization doesn't come gently. It crashes through me with the same violence as the storm—undeniable and overwhelming and so terrifyingly absolute I have to press my free hand against my chest to confirm my heart is still beating.
I love him. I'm in love with Valas Morthen and I've been fighting it for months because I was too afraid to admit that sometimes the thing you want most is also the thing that scares you worst.
Another crash echoes through the storm and I'm on my feet before I can think, moving to the window to press my face against the glass. Lightning illuminates the landscape in stark relief and I see it—another massive tree falling in the distance. Directly onto the cabin Valas went to check.
My heart stops. Just completely stops beating for one endless moment while I stare at where the cabin used to be visible and now there's only darkness and destruction and gods, please, please don't let him be in there.
"Valas." His name tears from my throat, barely more than a whisper but carrying every ounce of desperate fear I'm feeling. "Please come back. Please be okay. Please?—"
But the storm swallows my words and Valas doesn't answer and I'm left standing at the window with tears on my cheeks and the horrible certainty that I might be too late.
That I might have wasted my chance at something real because I was too busy protecting walls that never kept me safe anyway, just alone.
And now he's out there in the dark and the danger and I can't do anything but wait and hope and pray that I get the opportunity to tell him everything I should have said before.
That I want him. Choose him. Love him.
That he can have all of me if he'll just come back safe.
19
VALAS
The storm hasn't abated when I finally push through the cabin door, water streaming from my cloak and exhaustion dragging at my bones. The family in the other cabin is safe—bruised and shaken but alive, their home damaged but repairable. I spent hours reinforcing their walls with protective magic, healing cuts from flying debris, ensuring they'd survive until morning when proper help could arrive.
I'm so tired I can barely stand. Every muscle aches, my magic reserves dangerously depleted from the constant drain of maintaining shields against the storm while working. All I want is to collapse somewhere warm and dry and sleep for about sixteen hours straight.
Instead, the moment I step inside and push the door closed behind me, a body slams into mine.
I stagger, barely keeping my footing as arms wrap around me with desperate force. It takes my exhausted brain a moment to process what's happening—that Keira is here, pressed against me, holding on like she's afraid I'll disappear if she loosens her grip even slightly.
"You're back." Her voice is muffled against my soaked shirt, thick with emotion I can't quite identify. "Gods, you're back. I was so worried—are you hurt? Are you okay?"
My arms come around her automatically, pulling her closer despite the fact that I'm dripping wet and probably getting her soaked. She doesn't seem to care. Her hands move over my back, my shoulders, like she's checking for injuries by touch alone.
"I'm fine." The words come out rougher than I intend, my throat tight with something that feels dangerously close to overwhelming relief. "Starlight, I'm fine. Just wet and tired. The family's safe. Everyone's going to be alright."
She pulls back enough to look at me, and the expression on her face makes my chest constrict. Her hazel eyes are red-rimmed like she's been crying, her face pale with lingering fear, and she's looking at me like I just came back from the dead instead of a rescue mission.
"I saw the tree fall on the cabin." Her fingers dig into my shoulders. "I thought—I was terrified that you were?—"
"I wasn't inside when it fell." I bring one hand up to cup her face, wiping away moisture that might be rain from my clothes or tears from her eyes. "I promise. I'm safe. We're safe."
"Amisra?" The question comes out shaky.
"Asleep in the other room. Has been for hours." Keira's hands haven't left me, still gripping my shoulders like I'm the only solid thing in a world gone unstable. "She's fine."
"Starlight, everything's fine," I whisper, trying to soothe her.
That's apparently all the reassurance she needs because she kisses me.
