A deep seeded insecurity sparked a burst of irritation. I managed to tamp down the retort burning like acid on my tongue.
Men. Fucking men. When would I learn that my guard could never be let down for one? That whether they’re human, demon, or God him-fucking-self, I would always end up like Eve?
I was just about to tell him as much when he said, “It felt much the same when I fell.”
His words were like a needle jabbing into the inflating rage inside of me.
“Were you not literally thrown off the edge of heaven?”
A cynical smile harshened his expression. “There are thousands of years worth of speculation. Was I angry like a pompous child? Did I lead a rebellion against my father and inevitably lose? Maybe I even chose to fall, tiring of the rigid rules of righteousness. Perhaps there is a bit of truth to each,” he mused and, though he sat next to me, he was no longer in the present.
“One of the first privileges my father granted humanity was free will. A choice to either walk his path or stray, the only consequences being the onesthey brought upon themselves without any divine intervention.”
“A tale as old as time, that one.”
“Hmm,” he agreed with a nod. “The angels were never awarded such mercy.”
Two different feelings warred inside my mind. Was free will actually a mercy? Was it a mercy that Andrew chose me that nice? Or when Andrew used that free will to brutalize the last shreds of my life and take them just because he could?
“Our entire lives were written centuries in advance, kept in golden tombs lining shelves of an archive anyone could access.”
“Wait. Anyone? So that means…”
“Every achievement and indiscretion in my life could be read by any of my brothers whenever they wished.”
Fuck. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what that would feel like. Having someone know what my days looked like; Being privy to every detail down to the number of times I’d need to take a piss.
“I didn’t go to Eden as a malicious act. In fact, I didn't go because I wanted to. Father sent me.”
“Had you not already been cast out?”
“No. Not really. I’d grown restless, and Father could sense it. It took me centuries to come to the conclusion that Eden was my test, not Adam and Eve’s.”
“How do you mean?”
“Michael told me that my tomes were no longer in the archives. The Scribes pulled every single one from the shelves without anyone knowing. I didn't know it at the time, but my future was being rewritten.” Lucifer’s nose twitched with a sneer as the temperature plummeted in the car. Ice crept over the windows and when next he spoke, each word was accented with a puffy cloud of steam. “I went down to Eden given the task of tempting Eve with adultery.”
“I thought it was an apple.”
Lucifer’s eyes met mine, and the intensity I found there was soul gripping.
“I was the apple, Dany.”
My stomach dropped as the tapestry began to unravel.
“So you…”
“I was offered to a human woman with no choice of myown. Why would a creature as insignificant as Eve get to choose whether she wanted to betray her partner or remain loyal? While I, a creature of divinity, my father‘s most cherished child, be forced to lay with her because of wanton desire?” Lucifer grit his teeth, and the force was audible.
“Luci…” My heart ached for him, and I was clueless as to how to help him.
“The angels were not permitted partners. In secret, I coveted what Adam and Eve had. They were given the choice to walk together through a future unknown. We were only ever given a script. After I returned home from Eden, I confided in a few of my brothers. Slowly, their tomes disappeared from the archives as well. We were called to stand before God, charged with what the humans call the seven deadly sins. Because we dared to fight for a future that we owned.”
“And that’s why you were cast out.”
“No,” he growled. “That’s why we were punished. All of the horrific tortures you read about in the Bible about my domain are untrue. The Bible was unknowingly recounting the endless torture my brothers and I suffered at the hands of your God.”
“Not mine,” I snapped. “He is notmyGod.” It wasn’t the first time he said it, and it was beginning to sound like an accusation.
