“Thank you, Nini!” Evangeline embraced the stuffed toy, her little body swaying back and forth as she hugged it tight.
“Of course. Anything for you.” Nyx smiled and placed a kiss on the top of Evie’s head as she took one last sniff of her hair. There were no words to describe the smell of a child. Even if there were, they wouldn’t do it justice.
Evie poked the two black button eyes and the strip of leather Nyx had cut for the nose. “She’s so cute.”
“Good, now lay down. I’ll tuck you in tight.”
“Do you have to go?”
“I do. You’ll never sleep if I stay. You like games too much.”
“I would too sleep. I’ve done it before.”
“That you have, kiddo. I promise we will snuggle tight under my blanket when I get home.”
Evangeline laid on the makeshift bed as Nyx tucked her into a fur blanket.
“How long will you be gone?” The girl asked around another yawn.
“I’m not sure, baby, but it won’t be long.”
“Promise?”
The lie caught in her throat as traitorous tears tumbled down her cheeks. Nyx looked down in hopes that Evie wouldn’t see. She nodded as a response, not trusting her voice to answer.
“Okay,” the girl said as she scratched the surface of a button. “I’m going to miss you, Nini.” Her blue eyes looked up to Nyx, and Nyx felt the world crumbling around her.
“I love you so much, kiddo. Now get some sleep, and I’ll be home before you know it.”
***
Nyx barely hit the treeline before the wracking sobs hit. Her feet pounded against the ground as she tore through the night. Maybe, she thought, if she ran fast enough she could get away. Get away from what tomorrow would bring, or the cost of what she was leaving behind.
When she was so deep into the woods she was sure no one would find her, Nyx dropped to the ground and let the tears fall in earnest. The burden of her situation was one she couldn’t bear any longer. The pressure of her responsibilities had thrown her into the mortar years ago, but tonight the pestle made its final turn. Nyx had nothing left but the dust of her bones to give.
She thought of Xia on the riverbank as she ripped at her hair and screamed. Though they knew nothing of each other, a bondtethered by shared trauma weaved itself into them both, and it would be there forever.
Forever, until the weight of her betrayal cut the threads.
Nyx was working side by side with the man who brought her friend to life just to kill her again. She was lying to Brooks and leading them both to their deaths. She was the driving force of their demise, but the worst part was that she couldn’t stop.
Wouldn’tstop.
Nyx promised herself a long time ago that Evie came before anything.
“Fuck!” She screamed into the canopy, the sound ripping from her chest in the rawest form of despair.
Xia’s words flooded her mind one heartbreaking line at a time. Nyx clamped her hands around her ears, but nothing stopped the guilt from pouring in.
He raped me.
“Stop,” she begged, saliva stringing from her mouth as she cried out.
Beat me.
“Please!” She curled into herself, hoping to get so small the words couldn’t find her.
Killed me.
