“I couldn’t deny you anything, Siren. Ask for the world and I would sacrifice my flesh to lay it at your feet.” The rawness of his confession burned his throat, but he didn’t regret it and couldn’t pull it back from the universe. On the off chance she was real, he wanted her to know that.
He felt kind of silly saying it out loud. Brooks wasn’t sure if he had ever felt love, but the feeling of warmth that flooded his chest every time she spoke and how he hung on every word she said… It confused him. The only time he felt close to being alive was when she was there.
He pressed the pillow to his face harder, stopping the flow of air to his lungs. He couldn’t think if he didn’t have oxygen to power his brain.
“I don’t want the world, Brooks,”she said, her voice drifting as she gave herself over to her dreams.“I just want you. I want this.”
He didn’t answer. He couldn’t speak past the knot in his throat even if he wanted to. How sweet her words were, but how bitter they left him feeling.
A knock on the door pulled his attention from the internal struggle he faced.
“Breakfast in fifteen. Proceed with dressing and hygiene,” a no-name orderly shouted in the hallway.
Brooks pushed back the blankets and took one last stabilizing breath before standing. He made quick work of dressing and completing his bathroom routine as he rebuilt his walls and hummed to shut out her voice. He couldn’t listen to her speak anymore today.
“Brooks?”she pleaded.
He didn’t answer, only hummed louder.
When he re-entered his room, an orderly in pristine white scrubs was already holding the door open. Brooks didn’t bother to look at his face, just walked into the hallway and stood by his door until all of the other patients assigned to his hall were ushered out. They were ordered into a single file line and led to the cafeteria.
The walk was unremarkable, as always, and it wasn’t long before he was standing in line for his morning slop. He scanned the cafeteria for Lytta, but either her hall hadn’t been brought in yet or she was undergoing initial treatment and would be taking meals in her room. Brooks didn’t remember much about the first few weeks in the asylum, but the chills running down his spine meant his body would never forget. He hoped it wouldn’t be the same for her.
He exited the end of the line and surveyed the large room for the best table. Brooks preferred to sit alone, and usually, it was so packed that it was impossible to find an empty place. Today, however? He had almost half of the tables to choose from.
What the fuck?
Brooks walked toward a table and scanned the room. Gaunt eyes were fixed on empty space and the chatter was non-existent. Trays of food went untouched and the only sound was a wracking cough here and there.
As his stare traced the sickly faces, he made eye contact with a bright-eyed redhead and he cursed under his breath. Her stare was heavy and nearly vibrated in her seat. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to avoid Rue, but he was damn sure determined to try.
Brooks turned back to the line and, without much thought, took a step forward and hit a brick wall of a back. Broad shoulders turned to face him, and the man stared menacingly through his one eye.
“Shit, sorry, Paul.”
Brooks patted Paul’s firm chest but the mute man only stared. Brooks hadn’t heard Paul talk a single time. He didn’t know why Paul was in the asylum, but the rumor was it was for brute, mindless murder.
Oddly enough, it didn’t scare Brooks.
He would bet Paul’s IQ was in the single digits and had caught him shoving things down his pants a few times. Maybe Paul was a murderer, but he would be easy to outsmart.
Paul grunted and turned back to face the front of the line. They moved forward and as they got to the service bar, Paul simply stared at the kitchen staff. Food was portioned into bowls but it was up to the patient to grab what they wanted and place it on their tray.
“You gonna get some food, buddy?”
Paul didn’t acknowledge Brooks or make a move to fix a tray.
“Alright, then,” Brooks said under his breath and raised his eyebrows at the awkwardness. He scooted around the mountain of a man and took two tan trays from the stack.
“Don’t tell anyone I was nice to you. It’s your lucky day. I’m fucking starving and you won’t move your ass.”
Brooks moved down the line of assorted brown shit and plucked one of each for Paul’s tray. He claimed burnt toast and wilted berries for his own meal.
When both trays were loaded, Brooks motioned for Paul to follow as he exited the line. After a moment, Brooks checked behind him because he had a hulking suspicion that the dumbass wasn’t following.
Just as he’d expected, Paul wasn’t there. Brooks sighed and returned to the doorway, trays in hand, and found Paul still standing at the beginning of the line.
“Hey, bud? It’s time to move your ass. You’re in the way and I can’t carry you.”
