“That’s when you would typically come to the conclusion that I’m upset because I am you, and you’re upset.”
“Not tonight. We’re pretending, remember?”
“Yeah. I remember.”The sadness only thickened between them.
“So, do you? Want to talk about it, I mean.”
“No. I don’t want to burden you with my nightmare of a life.”
“I played an interesting game with someone recently that may intrigue you, actually.”
“Oh yeah?”she laughed.
“Yeah. It’s called Nightmare for a Nightmare.”
“Zeus Almighty, that sounds terrible. What kind of shit do they teach you in therapy there?”
“Only very applicable-to-real-life things, thank you very much snooty Judy.”
She cackled and it warmed his frozen heart.
“Okay, how do you play?”
“It was super easy. She confessed something horrible and then I did the same.”
“For fucks sake, Brooks. Why?”
“Does that mean you don’t want to play?” He laughed half-heartedly. Brooks wasn’t sure if he actually wanted her to say yes. He wasn’t ready to share his nightmares, and he didn’t know if he could bear the weight of hers. What he did want was for her to have a safe space to talk if she needed it.
“I live in a nightmare, Brooks. I don’t want to recount them.”
Her voice was small again, and he wished he could manifest her into reality to hold her close while she wept.
“Fair enough, Siren.”
“How about this? Rather than tell you a nightmare, why don’t I tell you a story?”
“A story huh? Does it end in a happily-ever-after? Please tell me it’s dirty. Is there sex involved?”
Her attempt to talk through laughs pulled a smile from his lips and he swore he could listen to it for the rest of his life.
A dark feeling cast a shadow from her light and in it lived his doubt. He would never be able to experience her skin against his or roam her body with his eyes. He was a fucking idiot for entertaining its presence, for letting it in when he was most vulnerable.
Brooks ran his fingers through his hair and shut his eyes against the thoughts barreling through his mind.
He shouldn’t be here with her.
He should be forcing sleep–
“Brooks? I thought we were pretending.”
The lump of emotion came back twice as strong and threatened to choke him.
“Please, Brooks. Just stay with me. Please..”Her voice broke and the pain that seeped through the cracks made his heart ache.
He hated himself for the way his body reacted to her, but maybe he hated himself even more because he knew he needed this too. Needed the comfort he felt within her voice.
“I’m here, Siren,” he sighed, defeated.
