She leaned in and nudged him with her shoulder, a strong awareness lingering where they touched.
“Your turn.” The starlight reflected off the unshed tears in her eyes.
He swallowed his own emotions, determined to stay as stony and strong as she seemed. He couldn’t change her past, but he could be a solid wall for her to lean on now, even if he wasn’t sure why he wanted to play that role.
“I’m a paranoid schizophrenic with no memories other than what the shadows whisper to me. I have a dark passenger inside me, and I have no idea what it is capable of. Sometimes I worry that when I black out, it’s in control. Every night, I take this stupid watch,” he pulled the wristlet out of his pocket and held it in front of her, “clean the face, and bring it to the roof hoping that it will show me something. It’s the only thing I have frombefore.“ He turned his gaze from the watch to her calculative eyes.
“Can I see it?”
Brooks shrugged and passed the time piece over. She inspected it silently for a few moments before looking back at him.
“What do you remember from before?” Her curious gaze grew more speculative like she was testing the waters.
“Nothing,” he scoffed. “Absolutely nothing. All I can remember are the fifty shades of fucking brown in this hospital. Every day is the same, like I’m in this unbreakable time loop and the longer I’m here…” he paused. “The longer I’m here, the more I deteriorate.”
She handed the watch back, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her after his confession. Brooks was afraid that if he met her stare she would ask for an explanation, and he wasn’t sure he had one.
They sat unmoving and lost in the depths of their own thoughts as the moon moved through the sky to usher in the daylight. He stole a few glances in her direction and tried to memorize the way her brows dipped and how the small bit of cheek she held firmly between her teeth gave her a small dimple. Her expression was contemplative and pained, like words formed and died on her tongue, unable to make it past her lips.
“Have you ever thought that maybe you spend too much time expecting guidance from the stars, and not enough time seeking what’s in between them?” Her expression was pointed and serious.
Her question caught him off guard and he was sure it was painted all over his face.
“There is nothing in between the stars,” he argued. “It’s just empty space. Air doesn’t even move through it. Life, answers, brilliance… it’s all found in the stars.”
Her hands were restless and she spoke with urgency.
“The stars do not exist without the space that holds them. Think of the universe as an ocean. The water is filled with fish, molecules, coral, beings big and small. But what are they without the water that holds them? The water that nourishes them and helps them thrive?”
She didn’t give her revelation time to fully sink in before she flicked a paranoid glance over her shoulder, stood, dusted off her scrub pants and said, “The ocean came first, and everything else was born because it existed. Let the darkness speak to you. Answer its call. I have to go. I’ve said too much and they’ll be coming for me.”
“Wait, what do you–”
“Lytta,” she whispered. “My name is Lytta.Remember.”
Thedoorfellshutwith a silent click. He leaned against the frame and listened to the pounding of his heart.
“Remember,”she had whispered.
He had never expected to find her on the rooftop and left with more questions than he had answers.
It would do, though. For tonight.
“Lytta..”
Brooks cringed, the raspy voice of his passenger making him recoil in his skin.
“You don’t get her,” he growled under his breath.
“She is already mine.”
He pushed the voice aside along with the rising unease it caused.
He padded to the bed and slipped under the blankets, determined to catch a few hours of sleep before the asylum woke for the day. He was dreading the week to come but knew he couldn’t think about it. It was always worse when he lingered on thoughts of the future.
He’d been sedated multiple times in the past few days and his passenger was taking control more often than not. He knew the staff saw what was going on because he woke up to Roger and his bullshit.
It wouldn’t be long until he started receiving more advanced therapy for his schizophrenia.
