Fiona wrapped her arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “Let me know when you want to come out here, and I’ll bring you personally. We don’t have to come on horseback. If it’d be easier, we could take the ATV.” The thought of a loud engine interrupting the serenity out here made me frown and Fiona chuckled when she saw my face. “Okay, then. Horses it is.”
The radio she had on her belt crackled to life and she grabbed it to answer her sister. Then she got us back in the saddles and spread out relatively equal distance apart on either side of her while Zoe circled the drone around to line up the shot.
“Okay, just like we talked about. Indigo and I will go first at a run. The rest of you will follow one on either side of me, and we’ll fan out through the meadow. Feel free to wave your hat or raise your arm. We want to look like we’re having a great time,” Fiona said.
The drone did a full circle around us, and I waved up at the camera. My smile was real. I’d never expected to have as good of a time as I was.
“Ready?” Fiona called out, standing up in the stirrups, and we all shouted “yes.” With a loud cry, she dropped back into the saddle and her horse took off like a bullet. The other women began whooping and hollering, their laughter flowing down the hillside as the horses ran through the meadow.
I was the last to go, along with Sofia, and we managed to take off at the same time. It was exhilarating and I whooped as Red raced down the hill, the wind tickling along my collar. By the time we met up with the others, everyone was laughing and waving their arms up at the drone, which had flown lower.
Fiona said something into the radio before tucking it back into her belt. “Zoe says thanks. She’s going to get the footage downloaded and she promises to share it before any of it goes live. Let’s get the horses back to the ranch.”
It took us about an hour to get back to Lost Valley. By the time we got there, I felt as if all these women were my new best friends. They were so friendly. While all but Sofia and I weremarried or engaged, and two had children, I didn’t feel any sort of judgment that I wasn’t in a relationship or popping out childrenat my age.
And just spending time in the saddle felt incredible. Once I returned to Austin, I planned to look into volunteering at a horse rescue where I could regularly ride. It wouldn’t be the same as being out here, but it’d give me the opportunity to spend more time on horseback.
By the time I got back to town, I was starving. Instead of heading straight home, I stopped at Hastings General Store to grab ingredients for a stir fry. While I was looking at the meat options, I tensed when I heard the unmistakable sound of my mother talking with another woman. She was complaining about something and her voice kept getting louder and louder. I looked around and spotted her at the end of the cereal aisle. There was an unfortunate woman—wearing a Hastings polo shirt and looking absolutely miserable—who appeared to be on the receiving end of whatever was coming out of my mother’s mouth.
My euphoria from earlier was rapidly disappearing, so I tossed two meat trays in my cart and headed for the produce section hoping to grab everything I’d need and make it to the checkout before she realized I was here.
I huffed out a relieved breath once I was behind the wheel and driving back to Brian’s place. I’d had a great time this morning, but as fun as it was, my mother’s influence around here easily squashed all my feel-good feelings, which was exactly why I couldn’t stay.
It didn’t matter how well things were going for me here. The reality was that I could never truly be myself in this town. Notwith my mother and her friends continually sitting judgment over me. For now, I just needed to keep my head down and my goals in sight so when the time came, I’d be ready to leave and get back to myreallife.
TWELVE
BRIAN
Afew nights later, I found myself in my living room again, staring mindlessly at the television. I was beat, too tired to walk up the stairs, after an eighteen-hour day. God, I’d be thankful when the rodeo was over and things at the sheriff’s office returned to normal.
I leaned back against the couch and sighed. “Normal” would mean catching up on all the work that had been set aside temporarily. I’d put off reports from last week, but I’d stayed late today to try to wade through some of them. The county prosecutor would need the documents soon for a few criminal cases. I worked until my eyes burned before making my way home.
Although the house was quiet, a tense atmosphere seemed to pervade every corner. That had been the way of it since my disagreement with Caitlin in the kitchen. I wasn’t calling it a fight. Angry words hadn’t been exchanged, not really, but it had been clear that she wasn’t happy with me. I hadn’t been very happy with myself, for that matter. I should have realized more about what she’d gone through back then. My family had takenEthan in. Why had no one asked whether it was okay for Caitlin to be left behind?
I flipped the channel, looking for anything that wasn’t serious. Caitlin had been on my mind too much, and for the first time in my career, I was distracted at work. Her face, her voice, the fact that she was only feet away from me at night interfered with my thought process.
And we hadn’t cleared the air. I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure where to begin. Tonight definitely wasn’t a good time for it since she was already in bed and likely asleep. With her early morning shifts, I was reluctant to disturb her.
She’d had the morning off today, which I hadn’t known about until I’d stopped by for an early lunch and found Aurora handling her section. Caitlin had been invited to participate in some sort of video Zoe was filming for Lost Valley Ranch. I’d knownofit through Sofia, since she had planned to go, as well, but I’d been surprised to find out Caitlin had been included. I shouldn’t have been, though. The women were all of a similar age and would have known each other, at least casually, through school.
I couldn’t decide what bothered me more—that she hadn’t thought to tell me about it or that she was socializing with everyone but me.
It was both, I decided, which wasn’t fair to Caitlin. Not with the way I’d initially set the ground rules when she arrived. She had every right to socialize with whoever she wanted without any input from me.
My eyes were half-closed when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I sat up straighter and turned to the doorway.
“Hi,” she said. Her hair was mussed from contact with a pillow and she wore an oversized T-shirt with Bevo, the UT mascot, on it.
“Did I wake you? The television’s too loud. I’m sorry about that.” I lowered the volume, kicking myself for being so thoughtless. I was too used to living alone.
“It’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Something keeping you up?” I knew she had worries, above and beyond the situation with her parents. I was curious about the texts I’d read, but she kept a tough front up most of the time. Right now, her usual “I’ve got this” persona seemed softened by the late hour.
“You, actually. You’re really late tonight,” she said. “I got worried when I heard sirens about an hour ago.”
“That was just a routine traffic stop,” I explained. “Mack—my newest deputy—got a little overexcited pulling over a speeder on the outskirts of town.” Tomorrow, I planned to have another conversation with the young deputy in which I once again would ask him to explain his reasoning. I figured if I asked that same question enough times, maybe it would take up space in Mack’s brain, and he’d learn to think before he acted.
