“Of course, I didn’t expect anything else,” I said. I didn’t need to be entertained. I was even thinking that I might pick up a second job in the evenings if I wasn’t needed at the diner. More money meant that I got my life back that much sooner.
“And we can’t…hook up again,” Brian said, his gaze steady on me.
“I wasn’t thinking we would.” Was that a flicker of surprise on his face? It disappeared in the blink of an eye, so I wasn’t sure. Only a stern cop-face showed now. “I just need a place to live for the next few months. I’ll stay out of your way, I promise. The truth is that I had just gotten out of a lousy relationship when we met up at that bar. The aftermath of it has…complicated things for me. Personally, financially.” I didn’t want to explain anything more than that. “I’m trying to put my life back together right now, so that’s where my focus is. I need to keep our relationship simple and separate.”
“That’ll work for me. I’ll get the rest of your things and leave you the spare key on the kitchen counter before I head back to my office.” He disappeared from the room before I could say more, which was good, I decided. We’d said enough to establish the ground rules, and I’d do my part in sticking to them. Except, why did it hurt so much?
SIX
BRIAN
Istirred a dash of cinnamon into the waffle batter before drizzling in a little vanilla to liven up the flavor. I poured batter into the hot waffle iron and closed the lid. Marc at Bite and Brew swore the added vanilla and cinnamon appeased Aurora’s pregnancy cravings and I hoped it would do as an apology breakfast. I felt bad about my rudeness to Caitlin the day before. There was no reason to treat her so coldly, basically establishing a no contact policy.
It’d been a kneejerk reaction when I’d realized that Caitlin was the one I’d agreed to let stay with me. When she’d bailed on me at the motel so soon after our lovemaking, I’d been hurt. Admittedly, I had no idea what to expect, but it hadn’t been that. Seeing her outside the diner, I knew I’d need to keep my shield up around her. That feeling intensified when she walked through my front door.
Once upon a time, I’d had strong feelings for Caitlin and I could easily see myself falling back under her spell despite the distance and time. Except, the reason for us splitting hasn’t changed. Ifanything, it was stronger. My life was here in Poplar Springs and for Caitlin, it was anywhere else.
So, whywasshe back? Before I’d realized it was Caitlin, Aurora had said her new waitress was between jobs, which was surprising. Caitlin was a talented artist. How was it she couldn’t find a job in a tattoo shop in Austin? It didn’t make sense but it was up to Caitlin as to how much she was willing to share.
I heard the water come on in the shower overhead as I turned the strips of bacon in the frying pan. She’d be down in ten minutes if I knew her. She’d always been quick in the morning. I planned to feed her breakfast before she left for her first day of work. It was the least I could do. And while I hadn’t consciously planned it that way, the food I cooked was the same breakfast I always made for her when she’d stayed over at my apartment in college when we’d been…dating.
Could I really call it dating? I’d never been sure. I’d thought we were headed for something serious until the moment when I’d invited her to my mom’s birthday dinner at the ranch. Caitlin had been to my childhood home plenty of times, but she’d vehemently objected to accompanying me from Austin to home for an extended weekend family celebration.
I’d wanted my family to see her as my girlfriend, had thought that was the next step for us. But she was so dead set against it that I’d started second-guessing myself, eventually concluding that she didn’t think we had that kind of relationship. A few weeks later when her brother arrived in Austin on a thirty-day leave before heading out to an assignment overseas, I had broken off our relationship, using the excuse that it would be awkward for Ethan.
The truth was, I took the easy way out instead of talking to her. I was worried I was getting too attached to someone who didn’t want something real or lasting with me.
A million times, I’d regretted letting her go so easily, but I’d known a one-sided attachment couldn’t last. And it was all further complicated by geography. While I would’ve been open to a temporary long-distance relationship, her refusal to come with me for my mom’s birthday felt like a deal breaker. She wouldn’t return to Poplar Springs, and it was the only place I wanted to be.
But she was here now. Upstairs. Singing in my shower. The bacon sizzled in the pan, shooting out grease that burned my wrist.
“Dammit,” I muttered, going to the sink to run cool water over the burn. I was drying off when my phone rang. Seeing it was my brother, I grabbed for the phone.
“Morning, Jake.” My twin had probably already been up for an hour and in the barn with the horses.
“What the hell are you thinking?” Jake demanded, skipping any kind of greeting. “You were miserable for a solid year after breaking up with Caitlin the first time. You setting yourself up for another broken heart? Because don’t think you can come crying to me when that happens.”
“You’ve heard, then?” I wasn’t surprised, with the way gossip flowed around our small town.
“Yeah, Aurora told Amy who told me. Of course, Amy doesn’t know about the history between the two of you.”
Jake knew the full extent of it. I’d sulked for weeks, including drinking far too much. Jake had found out about it and drove without stopping to Austin to stage a brotherly intervention. Mostly, he’d threatened to kick my ass if I couldn’t get my head out of it.
But even my twin didn’t know about the night I’d spent with Caitlin a couple weeks back. I’d kept that to myself. Mostly because I wasn’t sure what it meant. I could only imagine how irate Jake would be if he knew. I could already envision the lengthy lecture that would have echoes of our dad as he declared that I clearly wasn’t over her and how I was setting myself up to get hurt. And that just wasn’t true. I knew how to protect myself—and I wasn’t in love with Caitlin. Of course not.
Attracted, yes.Veryattracted, just as I had always been. But love? No. That wasn’t an option for either of us. Caitlin was only here to help out at the diner until after Sue’s baby was born and she returned to the diner. And I was too focused on work, which consumed nearly all my time. I liked it that way, but it made relationships impossible.
A year or so ago, I’d tried dating a woman who worked for a local insurance agency. After I’d rescheduled a date multiple times—each time because of a different emergency at the sheriff’s office—she’d told me not to bother calling her again. I’d shelved the idea of dating then. But that shouldn’t be an issue with Caitlin, who didn’t want to date me in the first place.
“I’m fine. It’s no big deal.” I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear while I removed the first waffle from the iron and poured in more batter.
“Like hell, it is,” Jake grumbled and hung up. I tossed the phone down, irritated with my brother but also knowing that he meantwell, and also that he’d been struggling lately. Growing up, we were called fire and ice—my brother was the hothead at times, while I always strived to remain cool and calm. But recently, he’d been worse than usual—snapping at folks.
The entire family was still reeling from finding out about Cal Pierce. My newly found half-brother seemed decent enough. The problem was that he and Amy were working together on the rodeo promotions and while I couldn’t be certain, it looked like the two of them were getting pretty chummy. The sparks between the pair of them were making the whole family nervous. We all wanted Amy to be happy, of course, but getting her heart tangled up with someone who wasn’t planning to stick around seemed like a recipe for trouble, as I knew firsthand. I didn’t want to see her or my nephew get hurt when Cal moved on.
“We’re all just a hell of a mess,” I said to myself while I put plates, butter, and maple syrup on the table.
“Something wrong?” Caitlin asked from the doorway. I hadn’t heard her come downstairs, which showed how distracted I was. The third step from the bottom squeaked. How had I missed the sound?
