“No. You’re fuckin’ weak!”
“I know that.”
“Why, Anika? Why did you refuse to fight?” I ask her.
“I was fighting!” She reaches up and weakly slaps my hand off her face before scooting up the bed. I know she’s still drowsy from all the meds the doc has given her, but that doesn’t stop me. She glances around before huffing out a breath. She didn’t know she was brought here. She hasn’t been awake that long in the past few days.
“No, you weren’t. you were fuckin’ weak. You took the easy way out of this,” I scream at her. I run my hand through my hair as I take a step back. If I don’t, I might do something I’ll regret later because of the mood I’m in now, I might.
“I did what I needed to do. I’m just sorry I didn’t do it right,” she screams back at me.
“You’re sorry you didn’t do it right?” I ask her. She nods her head, holding my gaze. I reach into the back pocket of my jeans and pull out my switchblade. I toss it at her, and it falls onto her lap. She eyes it before looking back up at me.
“Do it. Do it right this time,” I tell her, calming my nerves. I want to snap and hurt her, but I don’t. Instead, I challenge her.
“Leave me alone,” she says. I shake my head and walk over, picking up the knife. I flip it open and hold it out to her. She doesn’t take it, but I keep it there, within her reach.
“Take it. Do it right, Anika. Do it deeper. I’ll walk outta here and pretend I didn’t see shit,” I tell her. Her eyes stay locked on mine as I hold the blade in my hand.
“Leave me alone. Get out,” she yells loudly.
“Do it! Fuckin’ take the goddamn knife, Anika!” I yell back, but when she doesn’t, I grab her other wrist and press the tip of theknife into it. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to get her attention.
“Get away from me, Patch!” Her screams rip through the room, and before I know it, the door is flying open, and the guys are storming in. Tide is first to reach me, knocking me back a step. The blade slips and falls from my hand, clattering to the floor. Binker steps between us and picks it up, closing it and shoving it in his pocket.
“What the hell are you doin’?” Kal demands.
“She wants to die.”
“No, she doesn’t. She’s just confused,” he says.
“She tried to slit her wrist. I’m just helpin’ her out,” I say, raising my hands in the air.
“You need to stay the fuck out of this room. She’s here to get better, Patch.”
“She doesn’t wanna get better! She wants to fuckin’ die, let her go!” I roar.
“Is that what you want? Is it what you really want? Will that make you feel better? You don’t have to look her in the fuckin’ eye and see what happened?”
“Shut the fuck up, Kal.”
“You’re scared! Scared to see that someone else is strugglin’ too. Scared to see her hurtin’. Well, too fuckin’ bad, Patch! She’s fallin’ apart, just like you are!” Kal yells.
“Fuck you! You don’t know shit about me,” I scream back. My heart's racing, anger surging in my veins.
“No. I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of you self-destructin’, and now you’re tryin’ to drag her down with you.”
“He’s right,” Anika finally chimes in.
“What do you mean?” Kal asks her.
“I don’t want to live like this.”
“Too damn bad. This isn’t up for discussion. Somethin’ bad happened to you. Somethin’ traumatic and scary. It changed you. It hurt you, but it didn’t kill you, Anika. There’s more to life out there. Some people care about you,” Kal tells her. Her eyes move to Ellie’s as she cries by the door. “No. Not just her,” Kal adds.
“What do you mean?” she asks softly. Kal turns his head to look at me, but I can’t stop looking at her. Our eyes lock, and the air is sucked from my lungs. “He doesn’t care,” she says, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Why do you think he’s spiralin’, darlin’?” She slowly pulls her eyes from mine to look back at Kal.
