She knew that they’d been living a happy life without her, and she couldn’t understand why. Her mom dropped her off at her grandparents’ and went on to live her life with the man who got her pregnant, but neither one of them wanted to raise Karina. She couldn’t wrap her head around how they loved each other enough to stay together but didn’t love her enough to keep her.
The wound that Karina had from her parents’ abandonment left a kind of pain that made her wonder if everyone was going to walk away eventually. I spent a lot of time trying to convince her that some people did stay, but in the end, I couldn’t change her mind. Although she’d never come out and say it, I knew that was the reason Karina ran away from me. Now, it was my job to prove to her that it would never be our story.
“You know, staring at her like a piece of steak while she sleeps is kind of creepy, don’t you think?”
“Fuck you, nigga. Get up off me.” I pushed Ray off me.
He’d just walked up from behind me and was leaning on the back of my seat. He laughed, then came around and took the seat next to me.
“If it’s going to have you looking at me like that, I’ll pass.”
He kicked his feet up on the footrest and pulled a bag of chips from his pocket. He was always eating something. I had almost forgotten Ray and a couple more people were on the same flight with us. Karina and I flew to Paris on our own, so I forgot everyone else was here.
“Don’t you got work to do?”
Ray was always in my business like I wasn’t the CEO of the company. I had to give it to him though. He did a good job of holding me accountable because he was probably the only person comfortable enough to speak up when I was slacking. I appreciated him for that, but he was way off in this moment. He was the one who had work to do.
“Nah. My work is showing up, and I did that. It’s time for you to do your part, chump. Make me look good in the media.”
“And you know what? That’s usually a hard job, but your girl over there has been doing such a good job that my workload has gone from 100 percent down to 50 percent. We need to find a way to keep her on full time.”
“Nigga, she ain’t your motherfucking slave or the person who picks up your slack.”
“First of all, I don’t have slack, and second, slave is a wild thing to say. That’s your white side coming out, ain’t it? I’m just saying she does a good job.”
“If she can do the job better, then what do I need you for?”
“Wow. That’s a low blow.”
I hated it when anybody brought up my being biracial. I didn’t feel biracial. My mother was black, my very black grandparents raised me, and I had never met my father a day in my life.
I side-eyed Ray, and he laughed right in my face. I nudged him off me again because he was still sitting too close. His goofy ass always found something to laugh at, but I saw nothing funny. Ray kept right on talking, not paying me any mind.
“I’m just saying it’s a good thing to have her around.”
“Don’t you think I know that better than anyone. Having that woman around is the only thing I have wanted for the last decade of my life. She didn’t just become the type of person who comes into your life and makes everything better. She’s always beenher.”
“The hard part is when she leaves, and you’ve got to deal with the loss. Because one thing about Karina Stevens is she ain’t going to stick around long. It’s just not in her, so enjoy her presence while you can. Whether it’s this day or the next, she will leave again.”
Running away from the people who love you had to be some kind of thing she had inherited from her people. What other explanation did she have for leaving me so long ago? And what explanation did God have for bringing her back into my life when I knew for sure I wasn’t going to be able to have her for good?
“Listen, I’m only giving you a hard time because I love to hear you talk about Karina. I love the way you look at her even more. When I walked back here and saw you looking at that girl like a lovesick puppy, that made my heart smile.”
Ray grabbed his chest, then put a finger to his eye as if he were wiping a tear. He took nothing outside of work seriously. Ray was a dog when it came to anything I needed him to do forthe company, but he definitely wasn’t the person I would go to for dating advice.
“You’re so full of shit.”
“No, but I’m serious though. I know I joke a lot, but the dating pool got pissed in it, man. I have been with so many women who don’t have substance at all. These girls out here do not have good conversation, a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out of. Back in my younger days, as long as she had good pussy, we could work on the conversation later, but we are getting older, dog. I’m at the point in my life where it’s time to settle down, but it’s hard to settle down when there ain’t nobody out here to settle down with. I’m saying all that to say this, and you can take it however you want. If you got somebody worth settling down with, you’d better chase that woman to the ends of the earth. Ain’t nothing else out here. I already sampled them all.”
“And what if she doesn’t want to settle down with me, man? What if I chase her to the ends of the earth and she still tells my ass no?”
“That part is for you to work out. I got faith in you, brother.”
Ray tapped me on my shoulder as he got up from his seat. He had left me with a lot to think about. I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. Karina was worth chasing to the ends of the earth.
Chapter
Thirteen
