Nyx stared at me for a long moment, stunned into silence before she finally pulled me back into her arms, holding me even tighter than before.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled against my hair, her hand moving in slow, steady circles along my back. “Skye…”
I let out a shaky breath and stayed there in her embrace as I kept talking, finally beginning to fill her in on everything I’d kept from her for so long.
46
OCEAN
The office felt too small, even though it wasn’t. I was pacing back and forth, every step echoing my anxiety. Shade leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching me.
“Man, you’re pacing like a damn lion in a cage,” he said, voice calm, almost amused.
But I couldn’t hear the amusement over the storm in my chest.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, rubbing my forehead. “Skye…something’s wrong. I’ve never seen her like that before. She’s not talking to me. And I—” I stopped, ran a hand down my face. “I just…I don’t know if what I did...if it freaked her out. I mean, I handled Waylon’s bitch ass like he needed to be handled. I didn’t see her standing there. Shit, did I scare her? Did she hear everything that was said? Man, I?—”
Shade sighed, pushing off the wall. “Look, bro. Take a breath. You did what you had to do. Nyx is going to take care of Skye. Just give her a minute to breathe. Space isn’t the enemy.”
I stopped. “A minute? She’s not fucking talking to me. That’s more than a minute. And I can’t stop thinking...what if my actions brought up some shit I don’t even know about? What ifshe can’t fucking stand the sight of me anymore? What if she…I don’t know, can’t deal with me after seeing what I do when I get pissed off?”
“Ocean…listen. You didn’t beat him to a pulp with the gun. You didn’t kill the nigga. You handled business with more restraint than I’ve ever seen from you. You’re alive. He’s alive. You did exactly what you had to do.”
“But I said I was done with that revenge shit, and I went in on his ass anyway. I could’ve practiced some restraint. I could’ve let security handle him. I could’ve done anything other than what I did tonight.” My hands fisted at my sides. “But I didn’t. I let my anger get the best of me, and now Skye’s fucking scared of me.”
Shade shrugged. “Bro, you’re Ocean. You go above and beyond for anyone you care about. Revenge isn’t new for you. It’s literally part of who you are. You don’t apologize for it. Skye isn’t stupid. She knows that. She’s just processing. Let her.”
“I know she’s processing,” I whispered, almost to myself, but it came out bitter. “I just…I wish she would talk to me.”
“Just chill. She’s with Nyx. And trust me, Nyx will get her calm. You? You need to sit your ass down and stop driving yourself crazy.”
I rubbed my face, frustration simmering under my skin. “I can’t sit down. Fuck! I really should’ve held back on that nigga.”
Shade raised an eyebrow. “Held back? You’re talking about a man who was threatening, manipulative, and let’s not forget, he’d already destroyed someone you cared about. You held back enough for a normal person. You didn’t unload everything. You didn’t go full psycho on him. That’s restraint. That’s not you losing your shit.”
I stopped mid-step and looked at him. “You really think so?”
Shade’s smirk softened, his eyes serious now. “Hell yeah. Don’t punish yourself for handling business.”
I exhaled slowly, letting his words sink in. But the guilt, the worry, the ‘what if’ scenarios...they still danced in my head.
“I just hate waiting,” I said. “I hate not knowing what she’s feeling or what she thinks of me right now. I feel like I should… I don’t know… go to Nyx’s crib and get her to talk to me.”
Shade shook his head, laughing a little. “And risk pushing her further into panic? You don’t get it, do you? Space is what she needs. Not a fucking pop up visit from a man pacing like a damn tornado. You got to trust me on this.”
The door cracked open, and Sanya peeked in. “Y’all good in here?”
I glanced at her, my nerves making me short. “Yeah. We’re fine.”
She studied me for a moment, eyebrow raised, then shrugged and left, closing the door behind her.
Shade exhaled loudly, leaning back against the desk. “Man,” he said, shaking his head, “you’re really done messing around with Sanya, huh?”
I started pacing again. “Hell yeah. My head is on Skye. That’s it that’s all.”
Shade’s grin widened. “I never thought I’d see the day where I would hear you say that.”
I stopped pacing, leaning against the wall. “Skye…she’s different. And I don’t want anyone else. She’s it for me.”
