Fuck, I’m in way over my head.
She was so worn out from the hours we had already spent together. I carried her to the bed and laid her on the red velvet blanket. She rolled from my arms and nestled gently into the pillow. It wasn’t my plan to stay at the club tonight, in fact I have never slept in this room with anyone – or alone, for that matter, but she was so tired and I didn’t want to disturb her more than I would have already have to.
I went into the bathroom and grabbed a cloth from the cabinet. Turning the water on to let it run, getting it to the perfect temperature.I looked in the mirror, my mask still neatly in place. I contemplated taking it off and sayingfuck it, telling Delaney exactly how I felt, and laying it all on the line – but when I thought about Delaney, I also thought about Natalie and the familiar, hollow ache that always forced me to push back any thoughts of happiness would inevitably return.
When I walked out, I found Delaney sitting upright on the bed, hugging her knees. Her hair was disheveled and her skin was flushed from what we had done together. Her makeup that was once neat and moderately applied was now smeared. At that moment, she could not have been any more perfect. When she noticed me walking toward her, she looked up with those fucking puppy dog eyes that were full of something I couldn’t pinpoint.
I stilled when I got closer and I realized her eyes were red and her cheeks were tear streaked. I looked around, almost hoping to find the culprit for her sadness – but I saw nothing. A pang of guilt jabbed my chest.
Fuck, I was too rough with her.
When I got to the bed she was already trying to hide her tears, swiping at them aggressively, and sniffling.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” I questioned, though I had the feeling that I knew the answer. I can get a bit carried away sometimes and relying on a new, inexperienced Sub to use their ‘safe word’ to communicate their limits is not the most reliable option for setting clear boundaries.
I should have watched her closer. This was her first time in a scene so intense. I should have recognized the signs. She fucking trusted me and I let her down. I hurt her, and that is all on me.
As I was spiraling, replaying everything in my head, I couldn’t recall a moment when she seemed out of sorts or distressed. When I looked back up from the raging guilt that threatened to over take me, she smiled sweetly.
“I thought you left me.” She said, her voice cracking.
I rushed over to her, realizing she wanted me nearby, and quickly wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing against her body. Even that didn’t feel close enough. I wiped away the last tear to trickle down her cheek.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” My assertion was meant for her as a sort of reassurance about tonight, but in that moment, those five words – they feltdeeper.
I held her there in my arms for I don’t even know how long. I curiously watched her deep, pensive eyes. When she bit her lip and started to fidget with the blanket, I knew she wanted to say something.
Her tell tell signs are fucking adorable.
“What is it, Delaney?”
She shook her head and sucked in a breath, whatever it was that was keeping her mind busy she was nervous to speak on it.
“Did I hurt you tonight?” She didn’t seem to be hurt physically but it was important that I heard it from her lips. What else could it be that she wouldn’t want to tell me?
Why am I obsessing over this?
She giggled, “No not at all, Dallas. If anything I could say I enjoyed it, more than I want to admit.” She lowered her gaze as her face flushed. Her innocence was so refreshing. She tilted her head, her eyes fixed on my mask as she touched it, knowingly.
“This mask,” she started but then stopped, staring at me like she could see right into my soul. I will never understand how she does that.
“Will I ever get to see you? Will I ever get to see the real you behind this mask?” She spoke with so much hope behind every word.
I opened my mouth to tell her she’s already gotten the real me, raw, genuine, and vulnerable Dallas Kingston. She was the only other person to ever have me this way besides one other.
In our vulnerable moment, the door swung open abruptly, interruptingour intimacy.
“What the fuck!” I screamed, throwing myself on top of Delaney.
“Sir, we need you. Now.” Jacob’s voice boomed. I turned to see him covered in blood.
“Get dressed. Now.” I demanded. I hurried to the couch and grabbed my shirt. Delaney was scared, it was written all over her face, but I didn’t know what was going on or how long we had. I walked over and covered her shoulders in my shirt. With my finger I raised her chin, guiding her gaze to mine.
“I want you to stay by me, do not leave my side no matter what. Do you understand me?” I looked to the door, seeing panic in Jacob’s eyes.
I knew whatever was happening had to be bad. Jacob isn’t one to be fazed easily. Given his background, he’s seen a lot of nasty shit.
I buttoned the front of my shirt that hung like a dress on Delaney, then reached for her hand, guiding her toward the door that Jacob stood in front of, waiting for us.
