The corner of my mouth lifts, but it’s fleeting. Because in that moment, what I feel more than anything is gratitude. Not just for her warmth or her wisdom or the way she always seems to say the exact right thing without trying—but for the silence. For the fact that she hasn’t breathed a word of what I confided in her the other week. Not even to the girls.
Amelia cuts in. “Alright, enough interrogating the poor girl.” She turns to me, her expression softening. “First of all, I’m deeply offended I wasn’t the first to know, but I do get it, being married to your brother and all.” That earns a few snorts of laughter, mine included. “Secondly,” she continues, “for what it’s worth, Brad told me he’s been… different. Quiet. Said he’s not himself lately.”
Zoe huffs. “He’s probably thinking about what he lost.”
“It’s fine,” I say, downplaying the ache still lodged in my chest. “It is what it is.”
Imogen shakes her head. “No, Liv. You’re lying to yourself.”
I meet her eyes. “Maybe. But he made his choice. He built those damn walls back up, and if he can’t decide what he wants, I’m not waiting around for him to figure it out.”
I draw a shaky breath, forcing a smile that doesn’t hold. “I loved babysitting Teddy, you know? That kid… he’s beautiful. Brilliant. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s got this spark, this whole world in his head. And I just—” My throat catches. “I just understood him. I knew what he needed before he even said it. No one else is going to get him like that.”
“You love him,” Amelia says softly. Her words hit like a punch. “I saw the way you were with him when we had coffee. The way you looked at him. That’s not just a job, Liv.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I say quietly. “He’s not mine. He has a father who loves him, who’s doing his best. And me getting attached… it just complicates everything.”
Amelia’s voice is gentle. “I think you’re brave, Liv. For the way you handled everything. For still being kind after it all.”
My eyes sting, but I manage a small smile.
“Well,” Isla says, reaching for her drink, “I hope the man grovels hard.” She takes a sip, then adds with a roll of her eyes, “We all know how hard men suck at communicating. It’s not like them to share their feelings, so they need a real hard reminder.”
Ain’t that the truth.I bite back a smirk.
Zoe smiles knowingly. “If he’s half the man we think he is, he’ll come back knowing exactly what he wants.”
“And if he doesn’t,” Imogen adds, “we’ll all line up to kick his ass.”
“Or lock him in a pen with Kevin.” Amelia grins.
Zoe frowns. “Who’s Kevin?”
I snort. “One of the bucks on our farm.”
She pins with a confused look.
“A male goat,” I clarify. “And the meanest bastard alive. Took out an entire fence last summer and chased one of the boys halfway down the paddock.”
Zoe laughs. “Oh, lovely. Definitely lock him in there.” She lifts her glass. “To being brave and choosing ourselves.”
“Fucking cheers to that,” Imogen says.
“Amen!” Isla echoes.
“Cheers,” I murmur, the word catching somewhere between strength and relief as our glasses clink together. We order another bottle of wine, with dessert to follow—something rich and chocolatey that none of us need but all of us devour. Notlong after, the conversation drifts to lighter things: Zoe’s newest trainee at her company, Isla’s girls, Imogen’s hairdressing gossip, Amelia’s hilarious story about a student who proudly brought a live frog in his lunchbox for show-and-tell and lost it halfway through her lesson. By the time the laughter fades, my cheeks ache, my chest feels lighter.
By quarter-past nine, I’m taking off my boots and sinking onto the edge of the bed, with the soft glow from my phone breaking the dark. One notification blinks on the screen—small, simple, but enough to send my pulse skittering. It’s a photo of Teddy, clutching his dinosaur book. The one he always asked me to read before bed.
Sebastian:Teddy says I don’t read it as well as you, so he’s reading it to me.
For a while, I just stare at it, the ache blooming deep in my chest. My thumb hovers over the keyboard, logic whispering that I should ignore it, but my heart wins.
Me:Tell him I’m proud of him for remembering the big words.
38
Sebastian
