I frowned, remembering my earlier realization that someone like Jay—who’d been here foryears—was probably touch starved. He needed my consent to touch me, and I didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t if he needed to.
Was it inappropriate to tell him he could touch me?
A rare spike of bravery shot through me, and I found myself, once again, going against what I knew was the right choice in favor of something that felt much more exciting.
“You can touch me, I don’t mind,” I said softly, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.
Slowly, I slid closer to him, and he stayed perfectly still, watching me with those soft, copper eyes.
Once I was settled next to him, he smiled.
“There you go, that’s better.”
There was still an inch or so of space between us, but he was close enough that I could once again feel the warmth radiating off of him.
“Here, why don’t we go to the saloon and see if we can find Shane. Unlike you, he’s a big drinker.” He winked, and I nodded dumbly, taking the controller from him and trying not to freak out as our fingers lightly brushed against one another.
I focused on the game in an attempt to distract myself from how frantically my heart was beating.
The tension only seemed to build, and I was acutely aware of every breath Jay took next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the slow, easy rise and fall of his chest beneath his t-shirt, and I had a suddenvisceralimage of me cuddling into him and inhaling his scent.
Ugh! Bad thoughts!
Stop it!
Get it together, Milo!
The silence was thick and heavy, and I found myself needing to fill it to distract myself from how insanely attracted I was to this man.
“So…” I cleared my throat, keeping my eyes on the screen. “You and Sebastian have an… interesting relationship.”
Jay shifted slightly next to me, and his thigh brushed against me. I stiffened, expecting him to move away, but he didn’t. He kept his leg pressed up against mine as he settled further back into the couch.
He laced his fingers behind his head, watching the screen as I played and shrugged.
“I’ve known Seb my whole life. We were practically raised together.”
“Are you guys friends?”
“Sure. You could say that.”
I glanced back at him, pursing my lips. Before I could stop myself, I was asking anotherstupidanddangerousquestion.
“You’re friends like we’re friends?” I asked quietly, not even sure what I was trying to say.
I felt Jay’s eyes burning into the back of my head, but I forced myself not to look at him.
“No, Milo. Not like we’re friends.”
I swallowed, and Jay sighed.
“It’s… complicated. When my father was alive, we were much closer. We were raised almost as brothers… There was this pond in my backyard growing up, and Seb and I used to always goof around and catch frogs and stuff in it.” Jay’s eyes crinkled at the corners, as if the memory of him and Sebastian playing in his dad’s pond was an especially fond one.
“Seb’s always been the creative one, and I was the brainy one. My father always celebrated our differences. He was really supportive of my interest in tech and biology, but he was also really supportive of Seb’s interest in design and creative strategy.”
I glanced back at Jay, finding myself relaxing even more into his comforting warmth. Soon, I was leaning back into the couch too, and the sides of our bodies were completely flush with one another.
Jay stayed very still, and if I didn’t know any better, I would say he was holding his breath as I cautiously allowed myself to relax.
