He was tearing at his hair, and his cheeks were streaked with tears.
“Baby…” I whispered, rushing to his side.
He looked up at me, and the second he clocked the expression on my face, he reared back.
“Don’t touch me!” he screamed, but I ignored him, following him as he ran from me.
“Let me see,” I croaked. Grabbing him by his shirt so he couldn’t get away, I slammed him against the wall, ignoring the crunch of drywall beneath the force of impact.
“Baby, let me see,” I begged, my hands falling to his belt, desperate to see if he was still scared beneath his pants.
Shemhazai always avoided getting wet, claiming that‘cats and water don’t mix.’There had been a few times—after group sex with Ramel and Lilith—whenwe would pile into the huge shower together. The odd time Shemhazai would join… but even then, he refused to take his pants off. It always bewildered me. It couldn’t be comfortable to shower with wet clothes on, and I assumed he fully showered when he was alone. He removed his shirt sometimes in front of me, though rarely. But his pants always stayed on.
Now I fucking knew why.
“No! Don’ttouch me!” hescreamed, and he was crying now.
I was crying too.
“Baby, I’m not going to touch; I just want to see.”
“That’s worse!” he cried. “He’s gonna see! He can see everything!”
“No,” I growled, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at me. “I won’t let him.”
I manifested my wings and curled them around us, ensuring he was completely protected from Raziel’s prying eyes.
“It’s just me, baby,” I swallowed, doing my best to keep the violent sobs that wanted to explode from my throat at bay. “It’s just me and you. Please show me, Shemhazai.”
His lip was quivering, and his eyes were impossibly wide.
“Let me go,” he said.
“Shemhazai—”
“Let mego!”He shoved me in the chest, and I stumbled back from him, his green eyes now blazing with an unhinged sort of fury.
“Itoldyou not to go to him, and you disobeyed me!”
“Baby—”
His finger was in my face, and there was no room for me to speak. He wasn’t screaming anymore. He was shutting down completely, and a horrified sadness rolled through me as I realized I had lost him.
I had lost him, and Raziel had gotten exactly what he wanted.
By showing me those memories, he’d successfully taken Shemhazai away from me.
“I told you if you went there, I would never forgive you, and you went anyway,” he said, his voice flat and dead.
“Shemhazai, I just?—”
“This is over. We’re done. I never want to fucking see your face again.”
“Baby, you don’t mean that.”
He cut me with a ruthless look that I knew in my soul was final, and a piece of me expired as he broke my heart for the last time.
“Idomean that, Gabriel. This was a mistake. You were just supposed to be a way to pass the time, and you’ve crossed the fucking line. I can’t forgive you for this.”
