“They’re called clothes.”
“How come you have clothes and I don’t?”
“Sinners must earn the right to hide their shame, Shemhazai. When you show me that you can resist the temptations of sin, I will allow you to wear clothes, too.”
I nodded. That seemed fair.
“Arms up, Shemhazai,” Raziel said before stepping closer. He had what looked like a golden noose in his hands, and he diligently went to work, fastening one wrist and then the other to the bars of the cross.
“How is that? Do you think you could escape if you tried?”
I tested the restraints and shook my head.
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Good. That’s good, Shemhazai. Now let’s begin.”
4004 BCE
The first time Razial wrapped his hand around me, I was confused.
It felt good but also wrong at the same time.
I didn’t want him to touch me there, but he told me this was how we tested my ability to resist temptation.
“See how you swell in my hand?” he asked, and I swallowed but nodded. “That’s a sign that you’re already failing. You shouldn’t enjoy the sins of the flesh.”
“I—I can’t help it,” I stammered.
“That’s because you’re a disgusting sinner, Shemhazai,” he said firmly as he began to stroke me.
Each pass of his hand built a strange pressure deep inside me, and I fought against it, instinctively knowing it was bad.
“Please stop, I don’t like this…”
“Your body is betraying your lies, Shemhazai; you obviously like this. That’s the problem.”
I shook my head, panicking as the good-bad feeling continued to grow.
“No, please stop.If you keep doing that?—”
“If I keep doing that, what? What’s going to happen?”
“I don’t know!” I cried, a hot wetness staining my cheeks. “But it’s bad. Whatever it is, I don’t want to do it. You have to believe me!”
Raziel worked me faster and faster, and no matter how hard I fought it, the feeling built higher and higher until suddenly, I was erupting.
“No!” I cried. A sticky white substance spurted from my tip as I convulsed and curled through an intense explosion of good-bad feelings.
Raziel tutted his tongue in disappointment, shaking his head at me like I disgusted him.
“Vile,” he spat, and I whimpered.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I really tried not to.”
“You need to try harder, Shemhazai. If you orgasm every time you’re stimulated, you’ll never be pure. No wonder your wings are black.”
“I won’t do it again! I promise!” I cried, and Raziel turned his empty black eyes on mine. I felt small and stupid.
