“Naturally, he tried to unmake me and told me our standing deal was off. Rome fell shortly after. Without Ares’ support of the Roman armies, the barbarians were able to invade, and everything went to shit.”
Shemhazai shrugged, a light laugh escaping his lips.
“What happened to Hecate after that?”
“Well, I told her she owed me for saving her ass, then she toldmeto go fuck myself and that she’d had it handled… which wasbullshit,”he scoffed.
“Anyways, I told her we should probably fuck to call it even, which didn’t go over well. She insulted me, telling me that she, and I quote, ‘Wouldn’t fuck a male demon even if he had a magic cock.’”
I burst out laughing, and Shem glared though his lips were twitching.
“Naturally, this just made me want to fuck her more. I spent the next several hundred years chasing her. It turned into something of a prank war between the two of us.”
“Is that what the witch trials were? A prank gone wrong?”
Shem nodded, holding up the bottle he’d pulled out of his bag.
“The witch trials were meant to be revenge for what she did to me in England,” he said, eyeing his bottle thoughtfully. “Do you know what this is?” he asked abruptly, gesturing to the thick liquid in the blue-tinted bottle.
I shook my head, frowning. “No.”
“This is an elixir created by the Greek god Eros.”
“The god of desire?”
Shem smirked and nodded. “Yeah. Basically, you put this shit on someone, and they get so horny they would fuck a corpse… even if they’re not into that type of thing.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, already having an idea of where this was going.
“No…”
Shem rolled his eyes, though he was still smirking. “Yes.You see, I’d been having a hard time hunting her down after Rome. At one point, I got close to catching up with her in Greece, and she challenged me to a coin toss. Heads, we fucked, tails, I left her alone… but before it hit the ground, she turned the coin into her two guard dogs, each of which both had a headanda tail, effectively nulling the toss.
“Her new pets made it difficult for me to find her, as they could usually smell me before I got close. So, when I finally found her in Henry the Eighth’s castle, casting a revenge spell against him on behalf of one of his wives, I thought I’d finally caught her unaware.”
“No…don’t tell me…”
Shem grimaced and nodded.
“Yeah. It was a trap. She was waiting for me with a full bottle of Eros’ elixir and one morbidly obese king. Before I knew it… I had my dick in his disgusting mouth forhours.”
I couldn’t keep it in. I was full-blowncackling.
Shem rolled his eyes at me and waved a hand in my direction good-naturedly.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. It’s all very funny.” His eyes flashed, and his grin widened as he suggestively swirled the elixir in the bottle. “It’ll be just as funny when I make her fuck her‘brothers’in the next few days.” He punctuated the word ‘brothers’ with air quotes.
My eyebrows shot up into my hair, and I threw my head back, laughing even harder.
“Holyfuck,Shemhazai. You’re fucking insane,” I howled, and he winked at me, stalking forward and positioning himself between my legs.
The energy in the room darkened as he ran a thumb gently over my bottom lip, causing the laughter to die in my chest.
“Mmm, you have no idea, little bird,” he purred, and I spread my legs wider, bringing my hands to his hips and tugging him in closer.
“I have some idea,” I hummed, staring directly at his perfect, plush lips. I wanted to run my tongue over them and suck on them until he quivered.
He let out a low, dark chuckle and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, making my toes curl in my shoes.
