I jogged around the car, hopped into the driver’s side, and punched the ignition before draping my arm around the back of Ryan’s seat and craning my neck so I could reverse back out into the road.
Once we were back on the two-lane street heading toward Cleveland, I gave him a cautious glance.
“How are you feeling about what just happened?” I asked.
Ryan shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said, though his voice was sounding quiet and vulnerable.
I snorted. “Well, too fucking bad. If we’re going to have rough sex like that, you’re going to have to talk to me about it. Communication is really important.”
He shot me an angry glare. “Don’t act like you would listen to me anyway. You straight up said there would be no safe words if I chose to fight you on it.
Fuck. I did say that, didn’t I?
Ryan: 1, Cal: -2
That’s two fuck ups for me, right? Who’s keeping track of this?
Probably Naomi.
I groaned and leaned my head back in my seat, shooting him an exasperated look.
“That wasbefore.You weren’t mine yet. Now that you’ve admitted to being mine, we need to set up some rules andboundaries. I need to know what you like, what you don’t like, what are hard and soft boundaries… all that stuff.”
Ryan was staring down at his hands awkwardly, his cheeks red as cherries beneath the bruises.
I frowned. “Is this about the gay thing? Or is it about the fact that I choked you with my belt and finger fucked your ass until you came?”
Ryan groaned and covered his face with his hands, sliding down in his seat.
“If it’s the gay thing I told you already, I’m not going to pressure you to come out of the closet. That’s your choice, and you can make it when you’re ready.”
“No. It’s not the gay thing… well, maybe it is a little bit, but just because it never once occurred to me that I might be, and that’s throwing me for a loop more than anything,” he finally admitted, and my chest loosened a bit. At least he was talking to me now.
“So, it’s the fact that you enjoy rough sex?” I pressed, watching him subtly out of the corner of my eye.
He shrugged.
“It’s a lot of things, Cal.”
“Like what? Tell me. I won’t judge you.”
He dropped his hands from his face but still couldn’t look at me. He stared resolutely out the window.
“I don’t know anything about you, Callum… Well, I know that you like tea and fancy cars and that shitty robot music.”
I burst out laughing. “It’s called dubstep.”
Ryan just gave me an unamused look and rolled his eyes. “It’s horrible. It sounds like robots fornicating.”
I felt my eyes widen and my lips part. “That would be…awesome.”I breathed, imagining how dope it would be to have a music video with robots jerking each other off to a Knife Partysong. What color would robot cum be? Would it be like car oil? Or maybe that clear stuff they use to keep big computers cool…
My reaction to Ryan’s impression of my taste in music seemed to tug a reluctant grin on Ryan’s lips, though he winced. I immediately felt bad. His face was looking worse and worse by the minute.
Fuck.I had gotten carried away…Why was I fucking like this!?
“Whatever you say.” Ryan chuckled, settling back into his seat and closing his eyes. I hated how stiff he was. I wanted to draw him a hot bath and rub his shoulders until they were loose again. I wanted to kiss all his bruises better and tell him I was sorry for hurting him, despite the fact that I knew he had wanted it at the time.
