“What are you doing here?” I blurted, unable to keep my surprise under wraps. However, I immediately regretted the harsh words when I noticed how pale she was and the dark bags under her eyes.
Her lower lip trembled, and guilt flooded my gut.
This was a woman inpain.
“I’m here for my grandfather’s funeral,” she whispered, and all of a sudden, I knew why Mrs. Whitlock seemed so familiar. I had briefly met her at a few of the church events Joanna had asked me to accompany her to.
Looking at Joanna’s devastated expression, our history suddenly didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was making sure this person before me was able to grieve in a safe, supportive environment.
“Of course.” I straightened, immediately falling back into the professional version of myself that I had been honing for years.
I reached out and took her hand gently.
“Come. Your grandmother is in the viewing room. Let’s go together,” I said gently.
Her lip trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. She nodded, sniffing softly.
“Thank you, Ryan,” she whispered, and I squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“Of course, Joanna. Come on. Your grandfather’s in here,” I replied, steering her into the viewing room to join Cal and her grandmother.
Iwasn’t sure if it was against the rules to hold patrons while they cried, but I didn’t really care if it was. The woman shaking in my arms was so small and frail that my heart broke for her.
Sheneededsomeone to hold onto; I could feel it. I knew what it was to feel like you were drowning with no one to lean on.
If I could be that person for this small, broken human, I would be.
I didn’t tell her everything was going to be okay because, frankly, the man she loved was dead, andnothingabout that was okay. So I just held her, whispering the odd, ‘I know, I know,’as she shook in my arms.
Ryan led another guest up to the casket to join us, and I did a double take as I realized I recognized the woman he had led into the viewing room.
It was fucking Joanna.
A confusing rollercoaster of emotions rolled through me. My gaze fell down to where Ryan was clutching her hand, and I stiffened as jealousy and rage exploded in my chest at the fact that she wastouching him.
I almost completely lost it, but she made a choking sound and sank to her knees before the casket. She buried her face in her hands, and a painful sob wracked through her lungs, causing me to wince.
Like a switch had been flipped, all my anger disappeared when I realized she wasn’t here for Ryan. She was here because the dead man in this casket had meant something to her, and now he was gone forever.
I met Ryan’s tense gaze, and I pursed my lips. It felt strange without my lip ring, which I had removed for the service.
Ryan seemed to be begging me not to make a scene with his eyes, and I let him see that he had nothing to worry about.
Since meeting Ryan, I had begun to learn that no matter what Damian and my fucked up mother had tried to tell me, Iwasn’ta monster.
Whatever feelings of animosity I’d felt toward Joanna were not important enough to add to her suffering.
I had no interest in being cruel to someone who was already clearly living through what was probably one of the worst days of their lives.
More guests began to file into the viewing room, and I gently untangled myself from Mrs. Whitlock.
“Is this your daughter?” I asked her gently, and she sniffed.
“Granddaughter.”
“I’ll leave you two to say your goodbyes,” I told her, and she reached for Joanna, pulling her up off the ground and into her arms. The two of them clung to each other, and I slipped away, giving them some privacy so I could go greet the other guests.
Ryan was watching me with a look on his face that made me weak at the knees. I forced back the small smile that twitched at the corner of my mouth. It felt inappropriate, considering the fact that we were managing a funeral, but I couldn’t help the warm and fuzzy feeling I got whenever he looked at me like that.
