‘Play Massive Attack, Paradise Circus (Zeds Dead Remix)’ YouTube version
“Ginger snap?”
My heart was pounding in my chest when I heard Cal enter our bedroom. I was leaning against the tub, suddenly feeling like this was the stupidest idea I’d ever had, when he popped his head in.
I watched his giant smile slip off his face as his brown eyes darted around the bathroom, taking in the set I had created for us.
His gaze fell to the surgical table, then the speaker, then darted back up to my face.
“What the fuck is all this?” he growled, taking an angry step forward. I watched his pupils blow, and his skin turned to gooseflesh before my very eyes. I swallowed.
All the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention, and a wave of fear shot through me. My baser instincts told me that the man standing before me was no longer the Cal I knew but something darker. More dangerous.
My cock throbbed in response to the fear coursing through my body, and I let out a shaky breath, doing my best to remember that this wouldn’t work if I folded the second he showed signs of distress. I needed to be strong.Firm.
“I want you to fuck me in the tub,” I said calmly. “And I want you to choose a dubstep playlist to put on while we…play.”
Cal’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and his fists clenched at his sides. I had never seen him so tense. His gaze kept darting to the tub, the table, and back to me again.
“Ryan. We talked about this.” His voice was rough and strained. I couldn’t tell if he was angry, afraid, or turned on. Maybe all of the above.
“This is something I want to do,” I replied, and he snarled.Literallysnarled like a rabid animal.
I blinked, and he was in front of me, his hand curled in the front of my T-shirt.
“You want me to fucking hurt you? Ryan, you havenoidea what the fuck you’re doing. This isn’t a fucking game.”
He was shaking. Again, I couldn’t tell if it was from anger or fear, but I couldn’t back down now.
“I know it’s not a game, angel.Playwas a poor choice of words. But yes. I want you to hurt me. I want you to do whatever you need to do to me to reclaim the pieces of yourself that he stole from you.”
I reached up and cupped his face, meeting his dark eyes. “Next time you look at this tub, I don’t want you to think ofDamian and what he did to you. I want you to think of me and how you felt taking control of me.”
I slipped my hand around him and slid his phone out of his back pocket, holding it up between us. “Next time you listen to your music, I don’t want you to think of him; I want you to think ofme.I want to create new memories.Bettermemories. Of us,together.”
He growled and released my shirt, jerking away.
I reached for the speaker and paired it to his phone, handing the phone back to him. He hesitated, but I knew I was getting through to him.
His gaze fell down to the table again, and he tugged at his lip ring with his teeth as he cataloged all the things I set up for him. I didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on the scalpels, and my dick throbbed in anticipation.
“What if I can’t stop?” he whispered, snapping his eyes back to meet mine. “What if I black out?” He reached out and brushed his fingers against my throat instead of taking the phone. “What if I take it too far?”
“You won’t, Callum,” I said, my voice just as quiet as his. “You’re not him. You love me, and I loveyou.Let me do this for you.”
He stared at me for a long, heavy moment before snatching the phone out of my hands.
“Your safe word is red. Say it,” he growled, and I nodded, doing my best not to react to the thrill of exhilaration that coursed through me.
“My safe word is red,” I agreed, and he nodded tersely.
Cal put on a song that was much slower and different from what I was used to him playing, but soon, the quavering bass that was a staple in the dubstep genre began, and his already blown pupils grew even wider.
He literally shuddered before me, and I watched as the last part of his humanity melted away, and I was looking into the eyes of the monster that Damian had created.
“Strip,”Cal ordered.
There wasn’t any warmth in his tone, and the comforting brown of his irises had been completely overtaken by the endless black of his pupils.
